tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70280298353932562822024-03-06T13:19:24.208+05:30Life Lessons...Simplified!We all know what life is. But this blog deals with life in a whole new light. This is the place you wanna be if you want to see life in ways you'd never imagine. And yes, open for discussion!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-51071732683892119202016-01-26T00:03:00.001+05:302016-01-26T19:27:54.182+05:30Sometimes We Are Just Tired<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1bKyvVR61nTazakBTc29vqLbPpQ5y75yKs7XhPlGTI8BoSR1rzpGhVOfQh-fFq7vkfa2Jvzq3mAnhC4CQVs613u_LKGNSL2LfC06HjeimGQd7VG8y6qbO8EIFhcXtiYOvi4bK6XaFElU/s1600/a86d60dbf579bc091b30b4aeadcd4e35.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1bKyvVR61nTazakBTc29vqLbPpQ5y75yKs7XhPlGTI8BoSR1rzpGhVOfQh-fFq7vkfa2Jvzq3mAnhC4CQVs613u_LKGNSL2LfC06HjeimGQd7VG8y6qbO8EIFhcXtiYOvi4bK6XaFElU/s320/a86d60dbf579bc091b30b4aeadcd4e35.jpg" width="222" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"Why carry on?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This is one of those questions that I've never been able to answer. Not satisfactorily anyway. Yes, we are the generation that lives in the future. We hop on from one trend to another, live on the edge, have experiences that our previous generation wouldn't have dared imagine in their time. Yes, we are a leap ahead on all counts. But sadly, we are the most depressed lot of youngsters that ever walked the earth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">No, I'm not talking about the suicides that keep increasing. I am talking about something a lot more commonplace. I'm talking about fatigue.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpnLvj5t29LOljZAftcy-QhJzGEP2ofToA0B5toNod6oN4TH84fa5vmjC-_x7qwVg85zlIKk7BXC7uwc7QeJOtBiLbG419lsx7wSdAarNlmvpwgWa66cQBRfBW3ftPw_fKhyphenhyphengsbk9Ja5A/s1600/our-fatigue-is-often-caused-not-by-work-but-by-worry-frustration-and-resentment-quote-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpnLvj5t29LOljZAftcy-QhJzGEP2ofToA0B5toNod6oN4TH84fa5vmjC-_x7qwVg85zlIKk7BXC7uwc7QeJOtBiLbG419lsx7wSdAarNlmvpwgWa66cQBRfBW3ftPw_fKhyphenhyphengsbk9Ja5A/s320/our-fatigue-is-often-caused-not-by-work-but-by-worry-frustration-and-resentment-quote-1.jpg" width="248" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Not more than three hours ago, I was standing at a traffic signal doing the job of a traffic policeman who was (BTW) drunk and ignorantly missing from his post. Not to mention, I was doing his job for free since I was doing it as a concerned citizen connected to an NGO. The job wasn't much, I just had to throw my body in front of speeding cars so that they did not jump the red light. Then I had to urge them to keep their vehicles behind the zebra crossing. It is not so much of a tough job, in fact it is quite simple and straightforward. That is, until the people start abusing you and arguing with you about traffic rules. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It is quite a surprise really, how we risk our lives and the lives of others on a daily basis and then hurl expletives on someone who is taking out his time to work for the benefit of the society. And then there was this lady. We stopped her at the red light. She waited for 50 seconds, her vehicle turned off. Then, she suddenly jumped the signal with 10 seconds still remaining on the timer. I mean, seriously? This logic can only be found in Indians. And let's not even go to the awesome habits people have like interfering in other people's personal lives, gossiping about everybody, praising people in their presence and then criticizing them with their backs turned. In this world, there is no room for being a good person, because everybody has ulterior motives. That is why it so happens that the few good people give up on their best qualities. Because all they get in return is headache.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnERbZiho2SgxRFKTYMYRwOPLXEsNtA06XtmiK0ZGDhHnWyI8Py2gryM2ACui633wiJL7azRdfE5TU3i381LvVXVEq6gVGPySFT0mYr2etTb_rWoCCSwSGk5z_Et5NHsMfRw1y9lR5v08/s1600/hqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnERbZiho2SgxRFKTYMYRwOPLXEsNtA06XtmiK0ZGDhHnWyI8Py2gryM2ACui633wiJL7azRdfE5TU3i381LvVXVEq6gVGPySFT0mYr2etTb_rWoCCSwSGk5z_Et5NHsMfRw1y9lR5v08/s320/hqdefault.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So when somebody asks me "why carry on", I'm left speechless. The truth is, there is no right answer to that. This world is unfair. The worst people lead comfortable lives and the best ones suffer for trying to bring a positive change to the order of things. But it is those people who are respected when all accounts are sorted out, when the dust settles. The best current example would be our nation's celebrated hero Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose. If he hadn't gone through all those hardships in his life, would he receive the honor he does even after his 119th birthday? Not all people are lucky. Some of us have to struggle more in life to earn the respect we deserve. And many a times, all we see ahead of us is disappointment, frustration, depression. But we are defined by the best of our qualities only when we muster the courage to exhibit them in the worst times. Happiness or sadness is a state of mind, getting respected is a state of being. Your mood will change with the dates on the calendar, but your respect in someone's heart can only be changed by your actions. That is why great people carry on even when everything seems without any purpose. And again, good days and bad days are a random variable in life's equation, but greatness is a choice we can make whenever we like. That is why our strongest side appears when we are tired and disappointed to our extreme. That is why we have that saying "the night is darkest just before dawn".</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-82805892293276213762016-01-09T20:39:00.000+05:302016-01-09T20:39:21.822+05:30Talent - The Fairytale We All Read Backwards<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>"The word talent is but a lie. There is nothing called talent. There's just people who believe in themselves and those who don't."</i></div>
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Okay, before I start boring you out with the "lecture", let's just sit back for a while and play a game. Take a paper and pen...</div>
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Done? No? What's wrong with you? I'm serious. I give you another paragraph change, go get a pen and paper.</div>
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Are you back? Good. Now, list 5 things in life where you have been a total screw-up (for example, Academics, Relationships, Love, Confidence). You can write more if you can think of more such things. After you're done, cross out those things that you believe are NOT absolutely necessary for your survival in this big, bad world. For example, you can very well be a rich and powerful person even if you're not a particularly confident person (so you can cross it out of your list).</div>
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Now that half of the picture is clear, start listing those things which you are good at. And they don't have to be universal constants like singing, dancing, acting, painting. You believe that you are a people's person, one who can handle nasty situations with wit and intelligence? Add that to the list! Okay, you don't know how to cook but make a mean Pasta? Good, add that too. Every little detail is important. Add every single thing that has ever earned you praise from your friends, your parents, your neighbours, things that have been mentioned with your name because somebody out there believes that you are "good" at them.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdbM1fylgbTFxpp2WohZSXDrGtibBHdACBa9GFhakqFivkqOeq7jwuchLa2PBsQnhKdwq4-S-r8KWHteexT01-DcQGU5MlcIxAtpxXe_V1JMeXnZb4sn7oIhL5kYHBSCdL_dAb6pwvjeI/s1600/144c5e144c61d2dfd71a630028b9c142.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdbM1fylgbTFxpp2WohZSXDrGtibBHdACBa9GFhakqFivkqOeq7jwuchLa2PBsQnhKdwq4-S-r8KWHteexT01-DcQGU5MlcIxAtpxXe_V1JMeXnZb4sn7oIhL5kYHBSCdL_dAb6pwvjeI/s1600/144c5e144c61d2dfd71a630028b9c142.jpg" /></a></div>
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I think you know what the next step of this exercise is. Take your list and compare the two sides. The pros against the cons, the weaknesses against the strengths. Oh, and please don't add weight to the attributes you are comparing. "Academics" is more important than being good at "making a rangoli" should not feature in your comparison. In your list, every trait is equal, the relevance of any of those traits is not something to think about.</div>
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Do you see what happened here? The number of things you are good at beats the number of things you totally suck at. You might deny this entire exercise due to the fact that we very systematically limited our critical angle on things that you are not good in, and placed extreme emphasis on the things that you do well. So, I will, very vaguely, quote something from the last episode of the superhit American series True Detective - "technically speaking, there is more darkness in the universe and all the stars are just tiny dots scattered in the vast blackness". There will always be more darkness, but life is all about holding on to the little trickles of light. </div>
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So, yes, being an average student might give you the feeling that you are hopeless and talentless. But there is more to you than you give yourself credit for. What makes you <i>average</i> is not your modest skill-set, it is your <i>attitude</i> towards yourself.</div>
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We are now at the final step of this exercise. Turn your clock backwards and try to remember the last time you said - "I wish I was as talented as _____". Now remind yourself this, the person who fills this blank was not born talented. Okay, maybe she (or he) was. But Albert Einstein alone did not take the world into the 21st century. Just like there are different kinds of people, there are different kinds of talent. And you don't need to be an expert at something right away to call yourself talented. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXUEQYNTWlsxK01DxGcQoXAIkbp6ljjoVcT7GcZ-gxfqXz_4qVdPBF2nB_FkgjePf9rWYwMtfCbuvKRvdFQHNTFKEAfouh08AY1p-sQdH3qPAr8F12ruuH5LWKoGWo5TlVbtSsxs5myC8/s1600/talent-quotes-Use-what-talents-you-possess-the-woods-will-be-very-silent-if-no-birds-sang-there-except-those-that-sang-best..jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXUEQYNTWlsxK01DxGcQoXAIkbp6ljjoVcT7GcZ-gxfqXz_4qVdPBF2nB_FkgjePf9rWYwMtfCbuvKRvdFQHNTFKEAfouh08AY1p-sQdH3qPAr8F12ruuH5LWKoGWo5TlVbtSsxs5myC8/s320/talent-quotes-Use-what-talents-you-possess-the-woods-will-be-very-silent-if-no-birds-sang-there-except-those-that-sang-best..jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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So, that is the moral of the story. Talent is not what you carry in your genes, it is what you do with what you have. You are born into a society that sits at the pinnacle of millions of years of evolution, that in itself is a talent. I don't believe you need any more. What you need is self-belief and the passion of <i>wasting</i> your time on doing things you are good at.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-71012141424072902522016-01-05T23:05:00.000+05:302016-01-05T23:05:03.973+05:30Why We Sink Our Own Ships<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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There are times when a writer doesn't really have an idea what to write about or too many ideas for them to pick one. In those perilous times, a very good idea is to cut to the few latest (or earlist) good movies or books you have gone through. If you don't have good ideas, simply borrow from the unending plethora of hidden messages that our civilisation has amassed over the course of history. </div>
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That brings me to one of the most favourite ideas that movie-makers and writers have pondered upon timelessly -- the tendency of mankind to cut the branch they're sitting on, as a race and as individuals. Our self-destruct habits as a society are quite obvious already, most discussions on the internet these days is about how we are leading a lifestyle that dooms us all. But we often forget that despite all the variations between one person and another, the society is made up of individuals, and each one of us represents mankind in our own way. So, if we are destroying ourselves by the second as a civilisation, it means YOU are destroying yourself by the second as an individual.</div>
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So let's just cut to the chase and see the reasons <b>Why We Sink Our Own Ships</b>:</div>
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1. <b>Show Off</b> - "There are those who cry alone when they feel sad, and there are those who feel sad with Angel Priya and 55 others". This has to be one of those trending posts on social media that deserve a 'Truth has been spoken' card. There was a time when we shared our problems with our friends and loved ones, now we have the means to share them with every Tom Dick and Harry who uses the internet. And we make 'BIG' deals of 'little' problems, and in essence, worsen our own situation. And yes, the little achievements we make become a big deal on social media. Also, if someone so much as taunts us in a comment, it is full-fledged war right out in the open (I've had a few of those myself). It points us to a simple question - don't we have anything better to do?</div>
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2. <b>Love, or our own twisted version of it</b> - It is believable if a person has more than one relationship these days, that's pretty much the way the world is today. But what is really surprising, and weird, is the fact that most relationships are never even planned to last. We make tall claims of love and loyalty, but our relationships simply don't survive, and we are all 'broken inside'. Yes, of course, you flirt with every girl you see because you were cheated on by the one girl you really loved, so it is not your fault. And yes, every guy you meet knows that your relationship had no chance of surviving your 'family issues' (which mostly is just another term for a caring family) but it was his fault for expecting too much when you had 'made it clear in the very beginning' that there was little hope for a future. </div>
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Guess what guys, you have no right to make one bad experience an excuse for being an ass. Think again girls, little is more than enough when it comes to hope. And we claim that we have experienced love, claps!</div>
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3. <b>Interest Issues</b> - A lot of people I know tell me that I am very talented. I try my best to be modest (I'm not, but it leaves a good impression). But I often hear that people complain how they have been forced into making a life over things they find boring or don't enjoy, and all those things they like are left in the dust as they have no time for it. Guess what, a last year engineering student also doesn't have time to write a blog about life lessons, and here we are! </div>
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If you want to write, take a pen and start writing. It is going to be boring as hell, all the way down to the last word. But when you read the first good article or story you made, you'll realise why it is worth it. Don't make excuses of NOT being able to do something. DO what you love, and you will experience how it feels when you LOVE what you do.</div>
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4. <b>Abandoning Things </b>- It is easy to run away from things when they get hard. That's why we have so many suicides, so many unfinished projects, so many great ideas that never saw the light of the world. We are so good at running away and so bad at facing our realities. Consider this, you start a popular gaming app on your friend's recommendation. You love the game initially, there are quick level-ups and fast progress. The game stays on your to-do list for a few weeks or months. Then, by which you have reached level 30, the game suddenly turns boring. There are not many rewards, levelling up takes an eternity, and you simply fall out. There are so many new games out there, isn't it?</div>
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Good policy for casual gaming, but bad policy in real life. It's not unnatural to leave things when they get tough. But doing that in projects that you actively undertook (like a relationship or a professional choice) begs the question, when will we learn to face reality rather than attempt to overturn it?</div>
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Life is choices, we make them all the time. So, if you wonder why things seem so pointless, stop to think for a while. Are you making decisions that are destroying you? If yes, it is time to step up and take command of your life. It is your ship, after all, you can save it if you realise that the biggest enemy you face is you!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-42252017501011477022015-12-27T21:14:00.002+05:302015-12-27T21:14:47.172+05:30A World of Greys<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="EN-IN">As a kid, I loved mythological stories. They were so simple and informative. Every story gave you something to learn, something to take home. Every story had a purpose, and it was to highlight the difference between right and wrong. And, incidentally, to show that good deeds are rewarded and bad deeds are punished.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN">Then I grew up, and all of that went to hell!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN">Oh, was that a little too radical? I guess it’s all the testosterone and adrenaline that makes me a bit restless. Let us begin again. When we were kids, the world used to be a simple place. There was right, there was wrong, and they were so very easy to distinctly identify. The stories we loved and grew up with were all about happy endings and / or lessons about what happens to people who do malicious and evil deeds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN">As we grew up, those stories started to get more twisted and complex. We started to realise that sometimes stories can end up on a bad note, the good guys won't necessarily always win. And then there was always reality, giving us all kinds of twisted stories to observe and experience. We soon found out that darkness and light are not two separate entities that divided men into distinct categories. No, every man held his own share of good and evil, and there was no way to know other than to judge him on the basis of his actions. A clear picture of reality soon started forming in our minds when we secretly (and then rather vocally) started rooting for The Joker as much as we rooted for Batman, when we started to like the bad guys more than the good ones, because let's face it – villains are so very cool. They get to blow up the town, they spend more time with the pretty girls, and they win for the larger portion of the act.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN">We live in a world where war makes headlines more often than peace, where violence sells more than sensibility (don't even think about mentioning love stories, I know you have all enjoyed the burning cars and flying goons that make up most of the screen time in Rohit Shetty movies), where video games are not complete without murder with no consequences.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN">But that's all what you already know. The bigger question is, what is right in today's world? There are so many fanatic groups that support the Hindus / Muslims, General Castes / STs / SCs / OBCs, socialists / communists / nationalists, democrats / republicans, seculars / non-seculars, the list has not even begun. According to the pundits of all known truth in the modern world, the media are liars, social-media is paid media, history is all but a lie fabricated around the whims of powerful people, and the law is up for sale, politics is corrupt, governments are all propaganda and bullshit. The question is, if everything is wrong, then what is right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN">If you didn't close your browser so far, it means that you want answers rather than an increasing list of problems our society has. To answer your question, actually, there is only one problem. Our wishful desire to divide the world between good and evil, light and dark. We try a very mathematical approach to study humans, which is wrong. And then we extend those studies to cover ideas, which leads us to nowhere but endless discussions. It is said that reality is multifaceted. Then why can't there be several right ideas about how to lead our lives? The point is simple, you might be right about how you want to lead your life, but you have no right to interfere with someone else's lifestyle. Two men falling in love and getting married are not going to call God's wrath upon your house, a couple kissing in public won't destroy your heritage and culture, a Muslim following his traditions in a Hindu colony won't upset Lord Krishna, and a painter who paints naked Goddesses doesn't need to be punished by mortal men.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN">“Sarve bhavantu sukhinah, sarve santu niramayam, sarve bhadrani pashyanti, ma kaschitt dukhbhag bhavet.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN">Let everybody be happy, let everybody be healthy, let everybody be good, let nobody suffer sadness. (That's a rough translation)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN">This Sanskrit shloka was the gift of our Indian culture to the world, and yet we forget its significance in our daily lives. The world is not made in black and white, so we should stop trying to paint it so. Let people choose their own religion, their own political views, their own choice of food and clothing, as long as they don't interfere with other people's right to freedom. It is that simple. One bad politician doesn't make politics bad, same goes for media, countries, and religions. Judge people on individual ideas, not universal interpretations of them. You will see colour return to this world of greys!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-3138881741313192442015-06-21T17:41:00.001+05:302015-06-21T17:41:51.556+05:30The Osborne Principle<p dir="ltr">I assume all of us watched Toby Maguire play spiderman in our childhood days. And his Spiderman movie is what gave me the idea for this post. The Osborne Principle!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Today, you'll read how lack of confidence can jeopardise your career, your future, your life, and how a person who lacks confidence ends up being the reason behind everybody's success but his own.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Let's take a scene. Movie - Spiderman. Scene - The Museum. Peter Parker, the nerd, is charmed to be in the museum while his friend, Harry Osborne, is not quite interested.<br>
"Did you know that this is the most advanced electron microscope in the state," Peter nudges Harry, who couldn't care less.<br>
Enter Mary Jane Watson, the girl Peter secretly likes. Harry catches Peter staring at MJ and asks him to go talk to her. Peter doesn't.<br>
"Hey MJ! Did you know that this is the most advanced electron microscope in the state?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">Do you know who said that? No, not Peter. This time it was Harry Osborne who said it!</p>
<p dir="ltr">And that brings me to the Osborne Principle. Its quite simple, actually. It says - 'If you don't have the confidence to use your knowledge and your ideas where they can make a difference, I assure you that somebody else will use them where you couldn't. And then they would be successful.'</p>
<p dir="ltr">Of course, it's unfair for anyone to steal your ideas. But what would you rather be - successful or pitiable? The world is unfair, and it works on a first-come-first-serve basis. If you don't use the weapons you have, someone else will steal them right before your eyes.</p>
<p dir="ltr">That is why confidence is so important. The backlash of failure is always hard, but it is nothing compared to the regret of someone who had a chance but didn't take it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">There is no point being a genius if you can't come out and show it. There is no use being a master if you don't have the guts to challenge even the novice. No, successful people these days are often the mediocre ones who behave like veterans. That's how crucial self-confidence is. It is not something to be taken lightly.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So, the next time someone asks you to sing a song and you feel that you're not on top of your game, someone asks you to go speak up on stage and you feel your knees shake, the next time you feel afraid in the face of an opportunity, just remember the Osborne Principle. If you don't go out and chase what you want, someone else will take it, and they are very likely to implement the same method that you were too nervous to use.</p>
<p dir="ltr">That's your lesson right there. Don't be confident, that's irrelevant. But <i>alway</i>s show that you are confident. Appearances play a lot of tricks, there is no harm in using a few for yourself. You may not be a genius, but you can always behave like one. That's what all successful people do!</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-20548190669115667492015-06-11T15:26:00.001+05:302015-06-11T15:26:16.970+05:30Overcorrection<p dir="ltr">Consider a situation. You are on the Black Pearl with Captain Jack Sparrow (don't we all love him?), headed out for a memorable adventure in unknown seas. After passing through a storm, the navigator comes up and tells you that you are headed in the wrong direction. What will Jack Sparrow do?</p>
<p dir="ltr">"Well, he'll ask him what is the <i>right</i> direction then," you say? You are right. And then the navigator will say that you're off by, say, 5 degrees. The captain will adjust the heading and, Voilà! Back on track!</p>
<p dir="ltr">So, what's the point of making up this situation when its so damn simple? Well, anyone could solve this, its common sense!</p>
<p dir="ltr">But alas, when this kind of situation arrives in real life, most of us do not follow proper common sense and follow a very coarse, absurd course of action. And that is today's topic. The Curse of Overcorrection.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Let's go back to our example. What would you think if Captain Jack Sparrow, upon being told that the ship is headed the wrong way, would get up the mast and say - "Turn the ship backwards!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">"Are you freaking nuts," is that what you're thinking? But think about it again. Captain Jack Sparrow has just said something profoundly intellectual. Haven't we always been told that <i>right</i> is the opposite of <i>wrong</i>? So, considering that, the right way must be the opposite of the wrong way!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Downright stupid! The world was made in three dimensions. If you started walking backwards every time someone told you that you were going the wrong way, you'd end up absolutely nowhere. And yet, in practical life, that is what most of us do.</p>
<p dir="ltr">They say - "You're too emotional." You say- "Then I'll become more practical." They say - "You are naive." You say - "Then I'll stop trusting people." They say - "You speak too much." You say - "I'll keep quiet then." And there you are, painting this colourful world in the black and white drapes of right and wrong. There you are, walking backward and forward on a planet that's supposed to be spherical. That's overcorrection!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Think about it! What happened to ingenuity? What happened to originality? If all we have is a choice between two opposite roads, then why was the world map created with four directions? All our lives, we rebel to be free, and yet we remain slaves to the idea that right must be the opposite of wrong, that the two cannot be two very similar ideas, or even the same at times.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'll come straight to the point. Whenever we try to do something out of character, like the polar opposite of who we generally are, just because someone told us that we had been behaving wrongly so far, we fall prey to the malpractice of overcorrection. In definition, overcorrection is the act of consciously defying one's fundamental nature because of the fear that it may cause them trouble, hurt or unnecessary confrontation. I'd like to extend this definition a bit. Overcorrection also includes consciously showing the exact opposite of what you're actually feeling because you think that your actual feelings might produce an annoying situation.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Come to think of it, we are all dabbling in overcorrection a lot. Which is unhealthy. Because even though you do it to avoid getting or inflicting hurt, that is exactly what will happen in the end.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I don't have any answers when it comes to this problem. You can think for yourselves how this habit affects our lives. Also, no matter how much I want to, I won't say that you should <i>not</i> do overcorrection in your life. After all, it was I who made the point that the right thing is not the <i>opposite</i> alternative of the wrong thing. No, it is a <i>different</i><i> </i>alternative, that's all.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Hopefully, next time you catch yourself overcorrecting, you'll think about the cruise with Captain Jack Sparrow that I mentioned earlier, and you'll realise how unscientific and illogical it is as a solution.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Till then, <i>drink</i><i> </i><i>me</i><i> </i><i>up</i><i> </i><i>yo</i><i> </i><i>heartie</i>s!</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-32390041151807909442015-04-05T16:59:00.000+05:302015-04-05T16:59:21.018+05:30Censored To Fit - Modern Media<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This post comes in response to a suggestion from my dear friend Aishwarya. Honestly, I thought you'd give me something related to feminism. But this works just fine. Hence, the topic for today is how media alters reality rather than exhibiting it, thanks to modern customs of censorship and favouritism.</div>
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Honestly, this topic is so obvious that it did cross my mind many times, but I never had any idea how to even begin approaching the horrors of the the stupid things our beloved media keeps doing. In our era, where we all look up to ideals like equality and freedom of expression, the very mascot of these fundamental rights is trashing them on a daily basis. And we are nothing but oblivious!</div>
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Ours is an era of publicity and endorsement. Everything needs to be sold in order for it to survive. And since everybody is doing business, truth itself has become a commodity that is bought and sold on a public portal. It doesn't matter if it is important or not, it must be glamorous or controversial. A very good example is a sting-survey conducted by a foreign journalist who promised to pay several leading national dailies to publish a fake news about himself on the front page. The price was steep, but the real issue is that many newspapers actually agreed. That's Indian media for you. You can actually buy it.</div>
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I don't really blame them, though. Even the media needs to pay it's employees and fill their stomachs. And there is simply too much competition. The result is a frantic, lunatic, pathetic struggle for attention between different channels, brands, national dailies.</div>
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Whose fault is it, then? Why is it that we are unable to rid ourselves of a meaningless circle of hypocrisy and exhibitionism? The answers lie in the very fabric of our society. Let's just go through them one by one.</div>
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1. <b>We Crave Controversy</b>- They sell things as pointless as Bigg Boss and as terrible as the diorama of daily soaps. We buy it. Who would you blame? Would you blame the dog who shits in front of your house or yourself who collects that shit in a flower-vase and places it in your living room? We want controversy, so they create it. And it is a really simple thing to do. Step one - catch hold of some caustic comment by some politician or celebrity. Step two - assemble a few followers of the said celebrity or politician along with some opposing people, preferably people who are idle and have nothing to do. Step three - let them at each other. Step four - they will fight, first about the issue in question, then about their own personal grudges against each other. Step five - they'll start abusing each other on national television and make comments like '<i>tumhari aukaat kya hai</i>' (who the hell are you and what is your social status). Step six - take a short break and repeat steps one through five.</div>
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2. <b>We Ignore Whatever's Not Spicy Enough</b>- So Deepika Padukone said some things about feminism and modern choices. We made a big issue out of it, because 'a celeb must be responsible enough to only say politically correct things on a public platform'. The AIB Roast surely stirred a lot of people up. My question is simple - why do we need to fight over what a few people did in their own gathering somewhere? I am pretty sure that those who attended the AIB Roast weren't dragged by terrorists. Then why do we have to fight about what they said there? The media does on a public broadcast what we do on our Facebook posts and in our three-page long comments there. We get a fight because we want a fight. And in the process, the useful headlines pass us by unnoticed.</div>
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3. <b>We Are The Media</b>- They don't come out of nowhere. They are people from our own ranks. The media is made up of people like us. If they are corrupt, and they seriously are, then we are corrupt as well. We make rotten news everyday by being rotten people everyday. Those who cover it are the ones we point out, though.</div>
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4. <b>We Actually Believe Them</b>- We gave them the power to control us by believing what they show us. That's why there is 'Saamna' in Maharashtra that spreads hatred in the commoners and yet people follow it. It is because we give them the power to make us dance to their tunes. We can't protect our families and society from this influence. That is why these days the winner of any election is the person the media highlights more - whether it is Modi for general elections or Kejriwal in Delhi elections - the winner is the one who gets more footage. I don't say they didn't deserve their respective victories, but I still mention that this conduct is unbecoming of a power that is meant to be unbiased.</div>
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5. <b>We Fear Them</b>- Fear is the root of evil, or sometimes the side-effect of it. We are not a truly honest set of people, whether you agree with it or not. But we have an irrational fear of the media's power to affect the society. To some extent, we worship it. But a big section of us is afraid to challenge the stand the media takes today. And trust me, the media takes a stand a lot - not by assertion, but by suggestion. And we are too weak to challenge even the points that they put forward shrouded in diplomacy.</div>
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In short, the story is that the media shows us only that side of the picture that is glamorous, controversial, or monetarily more profitable. That's the reign of censorship that rules us all today. It is high time that we made some efforts to break free.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-66369838587060605932015-04-04T13:55:00.003+05:302015-04-04T13:55:51.108+05:30Ashita's Dilemma<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">"You
two should spend some time alone, get to know each other."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This
story begins where most Indian marriages start. Yes, there are a good number of
love marriages happening these days but arranged marriage still rules in most
sections of the Indian society. And arranged marriage was what Ashita was fated
for. She adjusted her blouse and smoothed the folds of her sari in front of the
mirror, stroked her hair, and turned about. This wasn't her first time wearing
a sari, but somehow she felt uneasy. She was suddenly embarrassed of how much
of her petite belly was exposed by it. She would've preferred her usual jeans
and top, at least it covered up her waistline pretty nicely. It was a funny
feeling, she had never been so conscious about her body and how would someone
else look at it before. Maybe this was just a general spell of nervousness, mother had said that it was absolutely normal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Still, something within her gave her an uneasy itch. She had always thought of males as things to be feared and to stay away from. Okay, maybe not always. She had an affair or two in her college days but they had ended badly for her and she had stayed frosty towards men since. Even before, she used to get so frightened when the boys called out her name on the street that she'd start crying. With time, she became confident enough to handle them. And now she was going to marry one. No, too early to say that. It was just a meeting, that's all. It was a long shot from <i>actually</i> getting married.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">"Ashita", her mother called out, "come dear. We are waiting for you."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Ashita staggered for a second.</span><span style="line-height: 18pt;"> </span><span style="line-height: 18pt;">“Erm…coming”, she
wailed out. Outside was the setup that made her go weak in the knees and shaky
in the limbs even at a distance. She was about to enter a realm where she would
be under a strange scrutiny of people who had once treated her like their own
daughter.</span><br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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“You look pretty as always, dear.” Rini Aunty was grinning
ear to ear when she saw Ashita. Maybe it was time for Ashita to start
practicing calling her mom. Right next to Rini sat Mohit, Ashita’s supposed
prince-on-a-white-horse. He looked at her with soft interest, blatantly staring
through the noisy conversation enveloping him. Ashita blushed for no reason.
This was just another guy looking at her and it normally didn't mean anything.
But the circumstances coerced her to act stupid. Part of her wanted to run back
to her room and lock herself in, but her feet wouldn’t move an inch. She only
swayed a little, shaking from the waist down. Her hands trembled their way up
to her hair-locks and she made an attempt at a smile, reciprocated instantly by
her prospective groom-to-be.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“We can have our chats later”, her mother was saying, “But
let the kids get to know each other first. They are the ones getting married
after all.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Five minutes later, Ashita and Mohit were face to face with
each other, disturbed only by a tray of tea and snacks. Mohit seemed to be
enjoying his time, looking around Ashita’s room and smiling to himself. Ashita
couldn't help but scowl. Sometimes, smiling at people can be a crime too. Mohit
realized his mistake, and toned down apologetically.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Uh, are you not going to ask me anything?” Ashita asked.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mohit shrugged. “I don't know what to ask. I know enough
already. You were a great student, always top of your class, you excelled in
co-curricular and cultural activities, you got a good job here, and you are
good at all household chores. About me, I am an engineer, earn enough to call
myself rich, just returned from Delhi to settle down here at home.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ashita took her time to be impressed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“That's…nice but…is that all we need to know about each
other?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Um…well…if there's anything you want to ask me…feel free.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ashita hadn't expected this. True, modern day arrangements
weren't like old times when things were one-sided and only the boy got to ask
questions. But she hadn't expected to run into a guy who had nothing to ask to
her but was willing to answer whatever she wanted to know. Maybe her
independent girl demeanour had rubbed off on him earlier and he thought that
playing it humbly would be best. Either way, it was curious and needed further
conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“See, I don't approve of the men of this society. You
people would stare at girls in micro-minis and jeans-top but want a girl in
salwar-suit and sari, happily become studs by sleeping with many women but call
a girl a slut first chance you get, no matter how normal that girl is. If I am
online at 1 am in the night you'll ask who I am engrossed with but nobody will
ask you why you stay up till 2. You get away with all the horrible things you
do but we get trashed for everything. How do you expect me to marry a man if I
don't approve of your kind?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mohit let a minute pass in silence.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“It’s a tough question”, he said. “And I thought marriages
are easy. Stupid me.” He smiled again, defiantly this time. “As a man, I
concede that you have all the right to be upset about how the society treats
you and lets the boys get away with everything. But I don't represent all men
here, and neither I am like all men. I am Mohit Singh, a person, an individual,
and that is the only way I'd like to be judged. My being a man doesn't change
the facts of my life, it doesn't change my character – it only changes your
perception of me. If you can get over your general ‘disapproval’ of ‘my kind’,
perhaps we can have a more fruitful conversation.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“Oh, pardon me. Did I offend you, perhaps? Men get so riled
up when a woman takes this kind of a stand. Maybe you'll come up with something
like ‘all men aren't alike’ or ‘you shouldn't go about generalising people on
the basis of what a few people do’. Don't worry. I am not interested in
exposing you. I just want you to know what you're going to get if you marry a
girl like me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
Mohit displayed no signs of surprise, rather, he looked
quite amused at the way the conversation was going. “I am not ‘riled up’,
neither am I interested in defending mankind, in principle. I am just saying
that it doesn't matter what you think about all, or most, men. What matters is
what you think of me. Getting married to someone is a big deal, you know. We
should utilize our time well.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“Um, you're right. So allow me to start with the first
question. Why are you going for an arranged marriage? You could very easily
pull off a love marriage.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“I could throw the question back at you. But I can imagine
what your answer would be. In any case, I agreed for an arranged marriage
because I think my parents would make a better choice than I would in this
matter. It's a lame answer, but it is all I got.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“You've never been in love before?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“I don't know. I had a fling or two, but they were more
like juvenile stupidity. Didn't really turn up into much, you know.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“Are you virgin?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“Excuse me?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
The pace of the conversation had suddenly come to a
standstill. An awkward silence gripped them both as one struggled to find their
words and the other observed quietly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“I asked you”, Ashita continued, “Are you a virgin? Because
I am not.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“Oh. Pardon me. I was just not expecting you'd ask this.
It's such an irrelevant thing.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“Irrelevant? Do you really think someone's virginity is irrelevant?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“Yes, as long as it is given away with true consent and
after a proper age. If there is love in a relationship, or even if there's just
a relationship, it's not very surprising if some physical dimension involved.
After all, isn't sex something as normal as life and death?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“So you wouldn't mind marrying a girl who's had a past?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“As long as it stays in the past, there’s nothing for me to
mind. In fact, to tell you the truth, I was actually hoping to marry someone
who wasn't a virgin. That would give at least one experienced member to my
couple.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
Ashita was dazed into silence. This man was either a
maniac, or the most forward-thinking guy one could run into.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“And what about your family? Wouldn't they mind?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“Well, they don't have to know everything. Though they are
my family, but certain things between me and my wife are solely my business. I
think you'll agree with me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“I don’t understand. How can you be so open about all these
things?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
Mohit finished his tea and put down the cup. When did he
start taking his tea? Ashita's cup had meanwhile already run cold. Mohit smiled
to himself as he began answering her question.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“I am open about these things because it’s my secret wish
to be the father to a daughter someday. And there’s no way I can be a good
father if I can’t provide her a world where a man and a girl are treated as
equals. The reason I am telling you all this is because I understand your
bitterness towards me even though you know nothing about me. I know the cause
behind this seemingly prejudiced anger. I can see the spirit that desires true
freedom. And that’s what I want for the daughter I'll one day have.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
A lot of words came up in Ashita's mind but she had no
sentences to put them in. She fiddled with her hair, blanked out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“Something tells me that you don't want to get married at
the moment”, Mohit was saying. “But still, I don't think that marriage is
really an end to anything. It could very well be the beginning to new things.
It all depends on how the two people involved get each other, reach out to each
other, and comprehend each other.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“You don't know how I…um…lost my virginity”, Ashita
whispered. “You wouldn't like it. You wouldn't be so cool about it if you did.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
“Maybe some secrets are meant to be secrets forever, in
that case. Or maybe you will tell me that incident as a long-forgotten story
someday. Who knows? I personally think that life is what we choose to be at
this moment in the present, what we plan for the future. I look forward to the
future we have ahead, depending on what you say when we meet our respective
parents outside.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 18pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
And then, Mohit slid his teacup towards her, got up, and
made for the door.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-70967840055895691102015-03-24T16:05:00.002+05:302015-03-24T16:05:42.999+05:30A Criticism On Criticism<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This post comes on the request of my dear friend cum senior Vikas Chandani. I wasn't very surprised by this idea because that's his favourite topic. I reckon he just wants to see how I approach this unexplored topic of criticism. So here it goes.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I liked the surprises you pour into the plot", she says. "But why is there always a mythological connection to your stories? I mean, the way you approach myths is nice and all, but after a while people will get bored."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"And when they do, they'll read some book from some other genre", I grin. "When you get bored from the show, you change the channel."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"That's what I'd expect from anyone else, but you are not just anyone. You are special, you have to be. So why not make yourself so good that people never get bored."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And that's when I am left speechless. The critique, the discussion that follows, and then the wrap-up point that you just can't counter. My friend who appears in this scene is one person you'll never win an argument against.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"For all I know, you could make a better writer than me if you put your head into it", I concede. "You should try writing something, someday."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Nah, I don't know. Maybe I am too lazy to do that. Even if I sit down to write, no ideas will come into my head."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I may motivate her to write something, easily. But she won't write anything, or maybe won't show me what she came up with. Some people are like that. They are better at judging than they are at performing.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Now you may have all kinds of opinion on such people, but my opinion is that of a writer. Every person I see is either a character or an idea. And there are no such things as bad ideas. There are ideas which are convenient to us and ideas that are troublesome. And the same goes to people.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In our society, critics are mostly seen as good-for-nothing folks who pass the time pissing people off. After all, anyone can criticize. Little kids who roam around spinning bicycle tyres with a stick become the experts when they see a cricket match ("<i>Abe square cut lagana tha na</i>" - as if the Dhoni will hear them on the field). Old, retired people talk about government policies all the time. Housewives talk about each other's behaviour in their free hours. In short, anyone and everyone who has wee hours with nothing to do becomes a critic. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And they are treated no better. In our society at least, there is this notion that if you want to criticise someone about something, you must be better than them. Any other possibility leads to a serious abusive conflict where people take the fight to each other's status/power/money/respectability. The best examples are film and book critics. Every time a critic trashes a movie or a book, the stars get back at them with caustic remarks, unfailingly. After all, critics are a talentless species who scorn people to make a living, aren't they?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I say it depends on the attitude, both that of the critic and the one facing criticism. Sachin Tendulkar said - "People threw stones at me, I turned them into milestones". And he had his fair share of critics. Now it is understandable to get angry when someone criticises you without knowing what you face every day, but the difference between <i>just about anyone</i> and <i>you</i> is how you handle adversity. And not all critics are your enemies.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I believe that we learn only when we are criticised. It's the law of friction, you can't move forward as long as there is some force pulling you backwards. If someone tells you what to do, it's your choice whether to follow the advice or ignore it. But hating people for not minding their own business is a waste of your time and energy. It only makes you less efficient.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That is criticism. It's friction, or aerial drag. It seems to oppose you, but it stabilizes you as well. Depends on how you handle it.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
If you like my blog please feel free to comment.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-1663506202738934962015-03-22T17:17:00.005+05:302015-03-22T17:18:57.894+05:30Wish I Had A Butler!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Dear
readers, I am in no mood to write today. And because I am not in the mood to
write, I am going to produce perhaps the most useful Simplified Life Lesson for
you today. Today’s post is about doing what you DON’T want to do. Yes, there is
so much in our lives that we’d rather avoid or let someone else handle. And
those are the jobs that are almost always most mandatory. Most of us can’t
bring ourselves to get out of bed every morning. In my case, I hate doing my
laundry and cleaning my room. It’s not really a good trait, but it is a
universal one. That is why we must learn to tackle it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It
doesn’t matter how simple or brief the task is – if you don’t like it you don’t
like it. Why is it that most of us make our practical files on the date of
submission? Why is it that our forms are filled on the very last day? Why is it
that our studies are neglected until the night before the exam? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The
problem is not just with you, it is the curse that runs in Indian blood. You
don’t believe me? Take the example of Commonwealth Games. The construction of
the Games Village and the stadiums had been so slow that the army was deployed
in the last hour to finish up the work. They did it in six days flat, and
produced a splendid result. But they would’ve had no need to step-in had our
folks been a little more disciplined.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That’s
our basic downfall. We lack discipline at a molecular level. And that results
in troubles of all variety. What needs to be done is simple – we need to get
more active. And we need to set an example for everyone else to follow. But it
is the how that always poses problems.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So
here are a few ideas on how to make yourself, and your team, more disciplined.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Clear
The Tables First</b> – The first thing to do before you set out to solve a problem
is to solve <i>all the previous problems</i>.
Lack of discipline has only one possible result – truckloads of piled up work.
And until you clear that first, you can’t set a proper routine. Now it’s up to
you how you manage that. Take that big heap of stinky clothes and give them for
dry-cleaning. Take all your dishes that haven’t been cleaned in ages and wash
them with nitric acid if you have to (just kidding, don’t even think about
trying that). Clean every nook and cranny of your room, pluck out all those
spider-webs with your hands if you must, and wash it all over. The only way to
change life is to begin from ground-zero. Do it today!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Mix
Work With Fun</b> – A lot of people listen to music while they study. Or they leave
the TV on. It’s not very uncommon to engage yourself with entertainment while
you do the dull and dreary of everyday life. Find some innovative methods of
your own while you toil away at the unpleasant chores. Music works well, or the
TV, or the radio. Many housewives chat on the phone while doing their households.
If you can afford the telephone bill, I don’t see that as a bad idea too. For
college students who love to watch various TV series and seasons, a good
technique would be to watch one episode after going through one chapter or
unit. That would give you proper relaxation and freshen up your mind for
another bout. Just make sure you don’t give too much time to the distractions,
however. Mix your medicine in honey and it won’t taste that bitter. But it is
the medicine that you really need, not the honey. Remember that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Reward
Yourself</b> – Deprivation works well most times, but we are more easily motivated
by the positive inflictions. So reward yourself every time you achieve a set
goal. A bar of chocolate every time you clean the room, an extra helping of
dessert for doing the dishes, a day out to pamper yourself every time you score
well. We tend to work harder when there are rewards attached to the job. The
same goes with team issues as well. Another person won’t listen to you unless
you can show them how they can benefit from you if they play along. Rewarding
is a better motivator than punishment, I believe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">4.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Value
Time</b> – A minute spent is a minute lost, no matter how you see it. Now you can’t
necessarily be a great and efficient person who utilizes every second of
his/her time flawlessly, but you can sure as hell try. Just follow the simple
rule – better be an hour early than a minute late. Make every meeting, every
appointment, every date, every plan an examination hall where you suffer a big
disadvantage if you don’t appear on time. Just being on time will affect things
in your life to a great extent, the difference is breath-taking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">5.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Give
Room To Your Indulgences</b> – Many of us who try to get disciplined fail miserably
and the only thing they blame is their utter laziness. That is, however, not
true. Many times we fail not because we are flawed, we do because our plans
are. When we try to fall into a routine, we always count out the most basic
occurrences of human nature – discrepancies. You can’t wake up at 7 am flat,
you’ll always spend some extra time in bed. You can’t study for 2 hours at a
stretch, you’ll waste time procrastinating. You can’t go out for a half-an-hour
walk, you’ll overshoot or undershoot your time-limit depending on who you meet
in the park. The truth is, following a strict time-table with military
efficiency is not for everyone. Your time-table, you plans, your calendar,
should be flexible like your personality is. It should change with the
circumstances and accommodate the changes in your surroundings. How can you
think of adapting to all the challenges in your life if your time-table can’t
adapt to a chance encounter or an unplanned event? No plans can work without
contingencies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Yeah,
things would be so much easier if somebody could do our boring jobs for us and
leave us to focus on the interesting things in life. But maybe the interesting
things only appear interesting because they sit next to the boring ones. Life
is all about contrast, after all. So enjoy your life as much as you can, but
that enjoyment will only last if you shoulder your responsibilities and do the
buzzkill stuff at time. Have fun!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-14751243250470998102015-03-22T17:04:00.001+05:302015-03-25T15:16:47.737+05:30When Everything Goes Wrong<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Okay,
you might see life as a big blob of jelly, its one unit in itself and you can’t
really subdivide it, but I say life is a set of discrete experiences and you can
turn it around anytime. This post is for those who think that the best years of
their lives have been wasted and now they will have to just play by the rules
set by destiny. Let me tell you this – there might be someone else out there
who is writing your destiny, but the handwriting in which it is written is
yours. No matter how you see it, life will never stop giving you options,
possibilities, and chances. The next opportunity might not be as lucrative as
the last one but I can bet you for all my money, there will always be a next
opportunity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You
may be a college student who let go of his/her studies in the initial years and
now sees a very bad future ahead, or you may be one who failed to realise that
what you were studying wasn't what you were made for but can’t take the
unconventional path now, or you may be a middle-aged man who realised far too
late that your life had been on the wrong path and now there is nothing you can
do about it. Its normal, it happens to all of us. We spend years and years of
our lives trying to build something (a home, a family, a career) and then we
realise that it isn't what we had dreamt of, it isn't even what we wanted in
the first place. Now you can’t just throw it away and start afresh. Life is not
MS Word where you can simply Delete a mistake and type it again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This
mentality is totally acceptable, and normal. But it won’t take you very far.
Once you’ve understood the nature of your problem, human instinct doesn’t allow
you to sit still and do nothing about it. Once you’ve realised that your life
isn’t going in your desired direction, your instincts will revolt and you will
break down. That burn-out will destroy a lot, but in that destruction you will
comprehend that there is always the next fight to win.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This
post is for those who want to change the course of their lives but feel
powerless to do so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Live
One Day At-A Time</b> – Right, you lived the worst day of your life. You lost too
much, and you gave up. I don’t blame you. The next day came, but you were too
hopeless to fight back. I don’t judge you. That state of pathetic existence
stayed on for years. I still believe in you. Why? Because when it’s going all
wrong, all it takes is one good day to change it. It doesn’t matter what your
past was, the future has never met the past you see. You lost, you gave up,
repeat. That cycle went on for a long time. But winning or losing, fighting
back or giving up, being awesome or being pathetic, these are everyday choices,
not long term phenomena. You choose to win or lose every single day. One day,
someday, you’ll decide to be awesome and then you will win where you had only
known failure. You just need to know that inside. That’s the first thing you
must do. Take the decision of fighting for your cause every day you can, and
even if you fail one day, there will be another. You’ll be awestruck when you
see how short-term decisions affect the long run.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Greet
People Nicely</b> – A smile can work wonders! All you need to do is look lively.
Research has shown that most of the time, how our entire day goes with a person
depends on how that person behaves with us in the first three minutes. That’s
right, three good minutes can change a bad date into a good one, a supposed
fight into a settlement, a rejection into an acceptance, a lost deal into a
sealed one. Besides, the more you smile, the happier you get. Seems like a good
choice to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Work
With Spark</b> – It doesn’t matter how bad the previous day was. What matters is
how you make this current day. And you can make it great if you choose to be
good at work. You don’t need to put good effort, or show self-discipline, just
do things how you always do them, only with some enthusiasm. Just focus on
being the best version of yourself and the results will come right at you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">4.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Make
Today Different</b> – Always ask yourself this question “What’s different about
today?” The answer could be anything or nothing. Generally, there is nothing
different about any day. It’s just another day of your life. There could be a
holiday, or a weekend, or a festival, or some other special day that fills you
with the energy to make the most out of it. But generally all days are alike.
And that’s where you can turn your pessimism to your advantage. There is
nothing about today that is different. Lead yourself to another question – “How
do I make today different from yesterday?” The answer is simple. By being a
different person today. Try to put something extra in your day today. You’ll
see sparkling results in the long run.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">5.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Challenge
Life</b> – Most of us are simply going where life is taking us. Change that. Be led
by life, but always work methods to lead life in your way. Pick a hobby,
develop it. Give it time. You’ll find out that you are capable of handling a
lot more than just the few things you’ve been doing so far. Make plans for the
future. Not plans like “I’ll finish college and get a job”. Make plans that say
“I will study this chapter today and practice public speaking in front of the
mirror at night”. Short-term plans are easier to follow and more fruitful.
Besides, by adding your hobbies into your priorities, you open up new
possibilities for yourself even though you are going where life is taking you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As
I said earlier, it is totally normal to feel defeated and swept away at times.
But the problem is that even after we give up on ourselves there will be a next
morning where we have to wake up and live. Even after we lose everything there
will be people who expect us to succeed – friends, parents, and siblings. And
even if everybody else gives up on us, we can’t live out our days in self-pity.
One day or the other, you’ll get tired and try to make something of your life.
So why not do it today? Why wait for a good-looking opportunity? Just be the
best version of you in whatever you are doing at the moment. Whatever it is.
That alone shall make your life ten times better than it is right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-80575246882433548632015-03-20T16:41:00.002+05:302015-03-22T17:19:28.558+05:30Stuck In The Wrong Place!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This post is basically career oriented, especially for those who have spent a good year or two in college or some particular course only to realize that it is not their calling but can't do anything about it now.</div>
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First things first, I am one of you. I got into an engineering college already knowing that it wasn't my thing. Three years into it, and the situation has gone from grouchy and bland to downright hopeless. Now there are people who are actually doing what they want to do, so my best wishes for you if you are one of those. But a big majority of our generation either hates their degree course or is simply putting up because that's what everybody's doing and they have no idea what they really want to do.</div>
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This post is for those who find themselves in that state where there is nothing to do that you want but so much to do that you'd rather avoid doing. Well, to be honest, even if you get the one thing that you really love to do, there will be times when you get burnt-out. So, everything's not over yet. Love for a person and love for a job or an academic subject are not very much unlike - they can be rekindled at will. </div>
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However, academics are a little hard to catch up on. And once you lose interest, there is nearly nothing that you can do. Nearly - and that's the word that makes all the difference. There is always a possibility of bouncing back, it all depends on how strongly-willed and determined you are.</div>
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So, here are a few tips on how to tackle unfavourable academic studies and make it through.</div>
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<b>1. Make Notes</b>- The standard procedure is that you sit and sleep through classes and then run up to the class toppers or studious students for notes in the end. Cut this crap! There's no need to actually study. Just make notes on your own. You'll be surprised how much your mind can retain and how easy things become.</div>
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<b>2. Make Time</b>- Yeah, there's so much to do. You gotta watch that new movie, weekends are reserved for fun, there are those nasty files and reports to work up on, your girlfriend demands all your time and devotion, an so on... But if you make it a habit to simply devote one hour of your day to rewriting those notes you made in the class (no studies, just simple handwritten photocopying) you'll see your academics become much easier.</div>
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<b>3. Find Your True Calling</b>- Most of us are down because we are lazy. The only problem with us is that we have no idea what we actually want from life. What our aim is. I know my calling, I want to be a writer. I have many other interests too - I can sing, act, compose music, do poetry, become an average engineer, all at the same time - but my true calling is to be a writer. You can like many things but you have to decide what your first priority is. If you can do that, it will be much easier to find a meaning in all this chaos.</div>
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<b>4. Plan Your Own Way</b>- There will be a lot of pressure from peers, parents, teachers, relatives etc. but they won't step in and earn your bread for you; that is solely your job to do. Hence, you have all the right to plan your life as you want it. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "I wanted to do fashion designing but my father coerced me into doing B.Sc in Physics. What planning do I do now?" Sometimes, we don't have the power to make certain choices and are swept by circumstances instead. But take a simple analogy for example. When you write an article for a competition, you have to keep to the word limit as well as the provided title. When you design a machine, you must meet certain parameters and not violate standard settings. When you perform a surgery, you have to exercise caution to avoid damaging vital parts. In short, circumstances will always block your way and you'll always have to compromise accordingly. But that's how life is, and you must've gotten used to it by now. Achieving certain targets while sticking under circumstantial limitations, that is what planning means after all.</div>
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<b>5. Respect Your Work</b>- Hating a certain person is okay, but elders say we must always respect our enemies. The same goes for academic courses and jobs as well. I don't claim that you'll start finding it interesting, but you'll be at peace with it if you respect it enough. You know, if you can't get the nuances of a subject through your brain, it only goes to prove how talented those are who excel at the subject. That demands for a good of respect, don't you think? After all, no job is too small or too inconsequential.</div>
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These are a few ideas that might help you get out of bed every day when you argue with yourself over whether it is even worth getting off to work. I can't claim that these pieces of advice will work, because I haven't been able to try them yet. But I sure think they'll work. Because I am pretty certain that my readers are strong people capable of guiding their own lives. Go on, prove me right. I worked pretty hard to be this smart, you know ;) ...</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-49694272596165987612015-03-18T15:41:00.001+05:302015-03-18T15:42:34.732+05:30For The Eternally Single<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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There's this girl that you like a lot. She seems to like you too. She's always complimenting you, she tells you that you are a nice, caring, eligible guy who is a great catch. When you met her, she was surprised - maybe even shocked - that someone like you could be single. But that's your truth, and you know somewhere deep down that it's not going to change in the near future.</div>
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Pardon me for the masculine point of view, but I think females generally don't get into this kind of bind. I personally feel - it's a pathetic prejudice but I can't help it - that women stay single by choice but men have to stay single by compulsion. Yeah, denial is a very nice way to go, but you know your truth.</div>
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So this post is for those who feel let down, or incomplete, or simply not good enough, because they can't break that stupid old curse of being single despite your best efforts to get paired up. Yeah, there are so many posts out there on Facebook, just to boost your ego, the 'Single and Happy' battle-cry that becomes the twig which keeps you afloat on the pool of your sorrows. I don't say that it's all but a hoax; there are people out there who are actually single and happy. But they aren't the ones who need this post. This post is for those who are like a graduated engineer who didn't get college placement - you keep looking for a job and appear in all kinds of exams but you're still unemployed.</div>
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Now I won't pepper you with the usual things that most of your friends must say to you. You know - 'Its better to be single, man. We committed people suffer all the time', or 'Your time will come, and trust me, one day you'll find someone so amazing and lovely, and that day you'll thank me', or 'This is such a stupid thing to be sad about, just focus on other goals of your life and your partner will automatically arrive when the time comes'. No, those people don't know your pain. They can't possibly understand why you fuss over something as trivial as this. But that's the point now, isn't it? The trivial things in life are the most vital after all. And love sure is a trivial thing these days.</div>
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Now you may be a person who never found the right person, or one who was deviously cheated on but never actually got into a relationship, or any sort of heartbroken, empty-feeling person (yeah, girls too, you people suffer a lot too). But the medicine remains the same, no matter who the patient is. So lets get to the good part, shall we?</div>
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Ten things for the eternally single to always remember:</div>
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<b>1. No Pain, No Gain</b>- All right, I give you a choice. Who do you want to be your life partner? Would you accept just about anybody, or should it be someone special, someone different, someone you have only seen in your dreams? Now you can, like a novice fisherman, hook a little fish and go home. But if you want a big catch, the catch of your dreams, I'd suggest you have the guts to wait up. It takes a special one to date a special one, you see?</div>
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<b>2. Never Give Up</b>- If you look all defeated and dragged out all day, do you really think you can find the one you're looking for? Even if you do, do you think they would like you all that much? Now I am not an expert, but I do know that a smile makes all kinds of faces look slightly better. And genuine smiles are a really attractive bait. Your fish might be crossing your hook every other day, lure her right in, go on.</div>
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<b>3. Look Your Best</b>- At all times, in all places, try to look as good as you possibly can. You know the rule - first impression is last impression. And who doesn't like good looking people? Besides, you get to admire yourself in the mirror. I am pretty sure that would help your mood, agree? Trust me, a good closet attracts not only prospective partners, but great friends as well.</div>
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<b>4. Be Funny</b>- When in pursuit of someone you don't know or maybe have never seen or met, the best course of action is to draw attention, positive attention. Best way, a tinge of humour. Now whatever you believe, nobody is born with zero sense of humour, this thing comes with the IQ. Be snappy, be happy, is all I say.</div>
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<b>5. Keep Looking</b>- We live in a world where love can strike from any direction. So why filter people out? Your perfect match could be anybody - a senior, a junior, a classmate, somebody from another college, anyone. Try to keep your options open. It's no crime to <i>look</i>, after all.</div>
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<b>6. Everything's A Date</b>- When you're single, everybody you meet is an option and there is no shame about it. So every time you head out with someone of the opposite sex, make it a date. Don't get too carried away, though. Tact should never be mixed with desperation. Just keep it light, a little hint of flirty. If you can spark enough interest, the other party will make things a whole lot easier.</div>
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<b>7. Keep The Past In The Past</b>- Nobody like glum people. I don't say that you should totally avoid talking about your past, but try to keep it to a minimum. And only do it when you feel it's very necessary. It's a simple theory, why talk about the past when you are planning about the future?</div>
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<b>8. Feel Free To Move On</b>- As I said, when you are single, everybody is an option. So if you follow up on a crush and it leads nowhere, I'd suggest you move on real quick and get on with the next one. If there are real feelings, then you'll stop reading or heeding advice by lonely writers like myself and act as your heart directs. But as long as it is fun and flirty, I'd say you are free to be a little clumsy.</div>
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<b>9. Keep Your Friends Close</b>- If you can't find your match, they'll try and find one for you. That's the deal, that's what friends are for in the first place (its just an expression, friends are precious and they serve many purposes). Besides, a true friend would only feel honoured if he/she is able to help you in any way possible.</div>
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<b>10. Avoid Hooking-Up On Social-Network</b>- It doesn't pay off. At least I've never seen it pay off. WhatsApp, Facebook, Hike etc are a nice place to chat with people and meet new people maybe, but you don't get to know them through text messages (or voice notes and picture messages). Avoid it. Real love with real people shouldn't be cultivated in the virtual world.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-15801913262302552282014-11-30T18:53:00.000+05:302015-03-18T14:36:06.974+05:30Maturity- We Wish We Could Find It On Google Play<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Yeah, I admit that this title sounds a little stupid. But on second thought, you'd concede that it is sort of applicable to all of us. These days we find everything on the virtual world. We have friends on Facebook, contacts on WhatsApp, buddies on Skype, and Followers on Twitter. We get what we want, or we wait for some App Developer to make something for us. We get a platform to catch up with our distant friends and acquaintances, we spend endless hours chatting with our present contacts, but even that isn't enough. With the <i>Front-Camera-Revolution</i>, our world as it is now seems incomplete without selfies and video-chats. Sure, we have advanced into a new age. What we haven't achieved yet, though, is the ability to be as half as smart as our phones and tablets have become.</div>
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Maturity (or the lack of it, as that is what is more commonplace) is the issue of the day. Our generation gets the tag of being immature grown-ups more often than not, and we get this tag so often that we start despising it. Our parents, our teachers, our peers, all get into our line of fire once we get frustrated from being labeled as immature and not being able to understand what the hell is wrong with us. Honestly, we don't deserve being blamed for this. Time plays a vital role in who we are and what we become, and the time we live in has it's own good and bad effects. Where correct and incorrect is decided by Google and Wikipedia, where all news we get comes from status updates from politically and logically biased people and media, where right and wrong depends on what gets more Facebook likes and YouTube hits instead of what agrees with what our parents taught us (I don't say that they are always right, but I can bet that they are right more often than we think), it is no surprise that mindsets and thought processes are shaped quite differently than they naturally should.</div>
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Technology isn't the only culprit here. Frankly, what brings us so many comforts and saves us so much time shouldn't be the one thing we blame everything on. Technology isn't the root of our maturity issues, it is merely a catalyst. The root cause of our failure to grow up in mind as we do in body, is our dependence on what this age offers us. We <i>depend</i>, and that is why we never learn how to face the real problems of life.</div>
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I read this post on Facebook quite a while ago. I said- "The reason why relationships don't last these days is because fights become WhatsApp messages, breakups happen over phone calls, and heartbreaks and getting over people become Facebook statuses." That's what we have become. Dependent on things that were originally meant to be nothing more than mere tools for us. Nobody, not me, not you, not your best friend, not that cute guy/girl you like, nobody, is over this basic reality of the day.</div>
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So that was the problem. What is the solution? Well, it's as simple as setting up a Gmail account (you need one to comment on my blog and +1 it on Google Plus). All you need to do is follow these simple steps ahead:</div>
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<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Learn to Avoid Fights:</b> I am not talking about the Bang-Bang (bones cracking and jaws breaking) type of fight, although you should strictly avoid those as well. I am talking about the more urban version of fights where you get involved in a verbal brawl or get into an argument in comments over somebody's Facebook post and then that fight migrates to your message box. Seriously, it's childish, and people who see it get a very negative impression about both parties who fight that way. Somehow, it is a custom nowadays that if somebody made fun of you and a few crackheads laughed, it becomes a tarnishing blot of ink on your reputation which will only get cleaned when you make fun of him so bad that your friends say- "<i>Abey, tune to uski maar li</i>" (Man, you really made him/her suffer, figuratively speaking. The literal meaning is not for public viewing)</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Take Criticism As A Compliment: </b>If you're not being criticized at your school, among your peers, in your line of work, then it means that either nobody gives a shit about you or you are simply not taking a stand where you are supposed to take one. The earlier means that you need to change your company or improve your personality, the latter means that you are either a very horrible person who behaves well only to use people or that you are a coward. Do you hate me for saying this? Trust me, this is what people think of you and speak about you when your back is turned to them. So, always take a stand where you have the chance, and never back down just because people criticize you. Being persistent is a great way to make things work.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Listen More, Speak Less:</b> Our age has a very popular belief that smart people speak a lot. While it is true in some cases, most people don't understand that smartness isn't just about speaking the right things. It is about speaking at the right time and to the right people. There is no use wasting a great speech on somebody who wouldn't appreciate it, just like there is no use writing a great story and sharing it with people who hate reading. Its a waste of time and effort. If there is one thing you must learn, it is the fact that this world believes in end results and many a times forget the developments that led to them. So if you have great ideas, it is your responsibility to do justice to them. The only way to do that is to stay quiet, listen, learn, analyse, and wait for the right time and opportunity to go forward with your plans.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Think Positive, No Matter What:</b> It's a hard thing to do, I give you my word about that. But it is a very viable option for those who are the happy-go-lucky types. Sometimes your positiveness may be misunderstood for a weakness. The 'Practicality' factor, somehow, seems to go in the opposite direction of optimism to our generation. If you don't get a bad feeling about getting too close to a new person you just met, or if you don't subconsciously start questioning the motives of a person who has been very kind to you lately, your friends and peers start thinking that you lack maturity. But tell you what, maturity isn't synonymous to paranoia. Maturity is about balance. Think positive, even if you get a bad feeling about things. If you believe that a certain project or person might cause you unexpected trouble in the future, prepare for the worst-case scenario and take several contingencies into account. But when it comes to your perception about things, always think for the best. You can't achieve anything if you just doubt everything and everyone who comes your way.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Stow The Ego:</b> <i>If you are the smartest person in your group, you really need to find new people. </i>It's a simple ideology, mature people stick around with mature people, immature people hang out with immature people. Choose your preference. It's really simple, you know. You can never get ahead in life if you despise the people who are better than you. If you happen to meet someone more intelligent or calm or balanced than yourself, it is a great opportunity to grow as person. Don't waste it in conflict. Your ego can wait for the next time. </li>
</ol>
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<ol>
</ol>
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I don't think you need to know any more about maturity. If you are my age, you have probably understood by now (or you won't unless you grow 30). Maturity isn't what people think about you, it is how you react to what they think about you. It isn't how you behave when people run across you, it is how you behave when people try to run you over.</div>
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<br /></div>
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It is an easy concept. Smile when most people would fight in fury, laugh when most people would get offended, stay silent when most people would rush into argument. That's what Maturity is!</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-24840339233169025222014-11-28T23:24:00.001+05:302015-03-18T14:36:26.111+05:30The Survival Guide For Young Lovers- Trust Issues<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"We are a generation full of broken hearts."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In case you are wondering who said this, don't bother. It was just me a few posts ago. I thought that it was a seriously deep idea, but I have lately realised that it isn't the million dollar problem we have at hand.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
Broken hearts are easy to handle, you just need some care and loads of good time to get over it. What we fail to get over with time and goodwill isn't our broken heart, <i>it's our broken trust. </i>And trust my friends, is the most basic ingredient for any healthy relationship, friendship, acquaintance, fellowship, in short anything that involves human partnership in any way whatsoever. We live in a world where people look for monsters wherever they go. And the most constant quality about us humans is that when we look for something, we most certainly find it.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We have lost the element of trust from our relationships, and that's why we are fragile and vulnerable. Now this post has been waiting for a long time now, so I'll go ahead with my ideas on how to get over a case of breach-of-trust and how to learn to trust people again.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li><b>Don't Get Stereotypical:</b> I'll take my case here. I had a very nasty situation where I was betrayed by a certain girl. Since I am a person who has a deep interest in Sunsigns and Zodiacs, I became paranoid towards a certain set of people. The girl I had my troubles with is a Saggitarian, I decided to never trust an Archer in my life. No offense to December born people, Saggitarians are very nice people, but Pisces-Saggitarius romances generally end in a disaster. Now here's the catch. This isn't what you should do. I admit that I based my paranoia and my fears towards a rather large section of people over something as pointless as their date of birth. But believe me, most people who have their hearts broken become even more stupid than they were in the beginning. All because they lost a part of who they were to the betrayal that they faced. Don't do that. Don't make the right person suffer for what the wrong person did. And when I say right person, I don't mean the next cute guy/girl you secretly like. I mean <i>you</i>. </li>
<li><b>Be Who You Are And Always Have Been: </b>My advice, be who you were before you got betrayed. If somebody says that you should change something about you and start over, ignore them. Only the second part of what they say is right. <i>Change is not a conscious decision that we make. It is just an unavoidable move that you make without even knowing</i>. Take an example. When you are driving, can you maintain the same speed all the way? Even if you do, you will encounter some turns, and even a tenth-grader knows that scientifically, a change in direction counts as acceleration. So as you drive along in your life, you are bound to change in many ways as a person. But that must be a natural process, not some case of unnecessarily slow driving because of the fear that set root when you had an accident in the past.</li>
<li><b>The Betrayer<i> </i>Seems Happy: </b>Why not you, then? We humans, the glorious beasts who claim to be the most intelligent species on the planet, yet we fail to follow basic logic in real life? Tell me, wouldn't every lawyer and every judge in the world commit suicide if they encountered a world where the criminal goes at parties while the victim gets punished? Nobody told you this, but that world is none but our own. Think about it. You had a romance. You got betrayed, your counterpart did the crime (romantically speaking). Who was left alone? Who became paranoid? Who distanced all his/her friends and became a grouchy asshole for everybody? Don't look so surprised. The answer is you, undoubtedly. The person who did made all the mess is partying hard and, even though he/she did something terrible, is winning people over by their happy-go-lucky attitude. I say it's time to step up your game and show the world who is the boss.</li>
<li><b>Spend Time With People You Still Believe In:</b> Fine, you got cheated on. Get in line, because almost everybody else is in your league. Just because you have big problems in your life, you can't turn your back to the people who still deserve your faith or at least haven't done anything to <i>not </i>deserve it. We are all broken dolls who stitched themselves up just because there are people out there who want to see us smile, people whose happiness depends on our own. No matter how rejected or unwanted you <i>think</i> you are, such people exist in you life. I won't say that you should get over your problems for their sake. If there has ever supposed to be some motivation in your life, it has to be you. What I'd suggest, however, is that you should let people in your mind. People who can guide you out of your bad times. They are always around. It all depends on whether you choose to reach out to them.</li>
</ol>
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<br />
I guess it is easy to get over people. What is difficult to get over is our own fear of getting hurt in the same way as we once were. When people leave, they don't leave behind a void that can't be filled. We <i>make</i> such a void on our own, and don't let anybody else fill it until we get over our fears. Take your time, it is never easy to conquer your own fear. But while you're at it, at least let people in your life. You'll be surprised how good company changes things!</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-28239564877064532952014-11-26T16:32:00.002+05:302015-03-18T15:42:51.878+05:30Teamwork- The One Thing We All Fail At<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Long time no see, dear readers! It's been a while...<br />
Blame it on my internet (or the lack of it). Besides, writers too get busy at times. Especially when they are students, like I am.<br />
So, here comes today's post. And the topic of discussion is the one chink our sturdiest armors have, the Achilles' Heel that the best of us suffer from.<br />
Teamwork, or the lack of it! (Yeah, I repeat my own jokes. Hang me!)<br />
<br />
Things are fairly easy when we go one on one against the world. We prefer working that way too. Nobody to handle, nobody to boss us around, just us and what we love. That is the reason why I choose to be a writer. Because in my line of work, solitude is a necessity and having no partners is a term of agreement. Sure, I do have sparring partners on a mental level, friends who are my greatest admirers and my worst critics. But in the end, I work alone. And I like it!<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, however, not all of us get to work alone. And it is not a healthy habit to always work alone. Come to think of it, the creepiest and the most lonely people in the world also team up somewhere down the line. Batman joined the Justice League, Tony Stark teamed up with the Avengers. Even the mindless Hulk had to work together with people at some point of time. Bottom-line, all of us MUST learn to work in a team, because our lives depend on it. And I don't mean that people don't know how to work together, they do. But this article is about <i>enjoying</i> it. We are social animals after all, aren't we?<br />
<br />
So, here it goes. Teamwork explained, writer style:<br />
<br />
<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Give Space, but know where to Draw The Line:</u> This is one thing every person needs and demands the most these days. SPACE. Frigging astronauts we all are, aren't we? Now when you work in a team, not just as a leader, but as a member, we all want the freedom to work on our own terms and at our own pace. Problem is, everybody has these issues. So things get bad when you force your will at people or when people just refuse to cooperate with you. The best way to deal with it is pretty simple. Be professional. <i>I don't care how you do it, I just want it done</i>. If you can find a politically correct version of this sentence and send the message to your teammates, things will get easy. Give them something solid to work with, clearly demarcated tasks, not to be breached deadlines, proper rules of engagement, go army style on them. But the how of the job is <i>their</i> job. They'll take care of it on their own. Trust them that much. If they fail, they'll accept it too.</li>
<li><b><u>Don't Work to Please People:</u> </b>There are people who simply want power, or money, or respect in the society. Being an idealist I loathe these tendencies, but being a realist I know that these are some incorrigible character flaws that almost everyone has. I've said this before, the only thing you should worry about is the job being done. You may not like the person but he/she may be an asset to the team. Apart from that, don't ever try to please everybody. That's not going to happen. No matter how brilliant or mediocre you are as a person, you'll work with people both your superiors and your inferiors in both ability and performance. They'll all have their own demands and aspirations. What matters in the end, however, is what is in the best interests of the team. The dynamics of teamwork do include people's interests, but everybody prefers an impartial person in the end. Don't try to please people by blindly giving them what they want. And don't try to find a diplomatic solution to things. Sometimes it's better to lose an asset than to corrupt people's belief in the system.</li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Know your Trump:</u> In a game of cards, if you have a hand of Hearts, it would be a fatal mistake to set Spades as your trump, logically speaking. Every team has many assets. But when you are in a team, you realize that some assets are more important than the others. Be wise and keep them in your favor. Every influence can change the dynamics of a team in a matter of seconds. That is why it is advisable to have people who'll back your opinions. After all, <i>being right isn't enough to be powerful in this world. But being powerful is enough to make you right at times.</i></li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Keep Contingencies:</u> Always have a backup, whether it is for a plan or a person. Relying on one trump may get you in trouble. So it is much better if you have plans for the worst case scenario. Get creative and imagine one for yourself. You may very well get some great ideas for possible threats that might be lingering in the shadows, waiting for a ripe moment to spring up and put in serious trouble.</li>
<li><b><u>Be Ambiguous:</u> </b>Believe it or not, people who speak too much may appear charming but they do a lot of harm to themselves. On the other hand, people who know when and what to speak are a lot more successful. It is easy, just don't declare your intentions very easily. Let people speak, and you'll get the chance to get things done, your way. People who have power don't say too much, they just make sure that they have the last word. If you learn to have the last word, you'll get respect and reverence from your team. And you'll have your way all the time!</li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Think about The Larger Picture:</u> <i>"Whatever Dumbledore does, he does for the greater good!" </i>A random dialogue, but one with great impact. When you think about things more than people's wishes and aspirations, you'll see that the way ahead of you requires a lot from you and your team. Then you'll learn that the only way to make things work for the team is when you have a vision of what you want from the team and how well your team responds to that vision. Always look ahead, thing about the work you have to do. In light of these things, the problems and struggles within the team are inconsequential. Keep moving forward, people will run along to catch up. In the meantime, the little matters will die out on their own.</li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Be Kind:</u> If you want to work with people, you need to have their respect. Sounds simple enough, but it is a hard thing to achieve. All I can tell you is that the one thing you can do is to always put your best foot forward. Be nice to people. Go easy on them as a person but give them a challenging time working. Some people can't influence others no matter how much they shout while others can influence people with a single look. Choose your Avatar!</li>
</ol>
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<ol style="text-align: left;">
</ol>
<div>
Teamwork is a headache, if you ask me. But so is life, so is love, and so is friendship. Call it a necessary evil if you will. But it's a great thing to experience. Try to enjoy it and you'll have memories you'd want to keep!</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-10036861475951231442014-09-05T21:19:00.001+05:302015-03-18T14:37:23.270+05:30The Survival Guide For Young Lovers- How To Handle Your Typical Relationship<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Hey
readers! Since my last post was all about whatever is wrong with our modern-day
relationships, it is time that we discussed how to fix these problems. Yes, I
know what you are about to say. If one solution could end all this fuss about
love issues, scientists would've discovered the gene responsible for these
problems and made a medicine, or psychologists would've figured out some sort
of therapy or counselling that would sort out all heartbreaks and love issues.
Unfortunately, life isn't that easy, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;"></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Wrong!
Life is challenging, it is something we can't change. But we are more
responsible for our problems than life is. It is easy to blame everything and
everyone except yourself and cry about your troubles. But when you're done
crying and running away, you'll realise that the solutions were always right in
front of you. So, when somebody starts preaching about life and love and
solutions to these issues, better listen and make note of what they say. Sooner
or later you'll find their advice more than helpful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAknyxbDGddC3sb4J9cooZEZLr5kaXozjKfABT6v8nJv9k_jlcV8YUztUaEdMEcnCQVxPpeNPAGc3mkcBcSSy10sW2UQUlCN_VyORSOmGSQPJFQ4km1cCtpaCqNVP_SUSuPxAZ1yv8gVE/s1600/how-to-build-a-lasting-relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAknyxbDGddC3sb4J9cooZEZLr5kaXozjKfABT6v8nJv9k_jlcV8YUztUaEdMEcnCQVxPpeNPAGc3mkcBcSSy10sW2UQUlCN_VyORSOmGSQPJFQ4km1cCtpaCqNVP_SUSuPxAZ1yv8gVE/s1600/how-to-build-a-lasting-relationship.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Since
today's issue is how to deal with relationships, I'll not waste much time and
get to the points that really matter. The first thing is what you see in the
first picture. Take the 'M' out of 'me' and turn it upside down. That's the magic
word fellas. The 'open sesame' to all the happiness and satisfaction love can
ever provide. When you are in a relationship, you have more important things to
cater to than your own whims. Of course, if you happen to meet someone who is
happy to be your slave, I'll bless you two, but that is rarely possible, and
everybody has their limits. Anyways, I am targeting the usual relationships.
And the most common mistake that we make when we get into the blissful bond of
‘commitment’ is that we <i>stop making the
same efforts to keep the person that we made to win them</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx2TzJ6cnpEMPLvcmti3w-6mQst8-cBanVAIA0QgrcWGZHu1Wmh_6BlnwLh4D3N1ohV7gz0Y6EZdmWVwgpu3_dQbP-q5NTUy8kRHFkP-ge18LXW9SJhP1QMj8MgslnNgMAa4duSaUak3U/s1600/relationship+diagram.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx2TzJ6cnpEMPLvcmti3w-6mQst8-cBanVAIA0QgrcWGZHu1Wmh_6BlnwLh4D3N1ohV7gz0Y6EZdmWVwgpu3_dQbP-q5NTUy8kRHFkP-ge18LXW9SJhP1QMj8MgslnNgMAa4duSaUak3U/s1600/relationship+diagram.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">The
picture you saw above is very simple, but it could hold the key to most of the
problems in your life. You see, we land into the gutter only when we don’t know
where we are going. Many of us suffer at the hands of people we care about only
because we aren’t sure what we want from them. My advice, when it gets too
complicated, sit down and make this picture (you don’t need to be an engineer
to understand a Venn diagram, it’s just a damn combo of circles). Now think of
every person in your life who belongs to the opposite sex and give them a code,
something that only you can understand. Now place those codes in the picture as
per your feelings towards them. I know, every committed person thinks that
he/she has a perfect match with their other half. But that’s what we say all
the time to all the people. And this exercise is not for people. It is for you.
It is to make you sure about where each of your relationships stands. You will
be surprised how clear you feel after you do this exercise. And once you are
clear about yourself, you’ll know what to do next. You won’t need advice on
your relationships anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSmGjHofcJwojvRK3qIVRInweMVWYR4sf3Gm94C3FnAxtHvgJ3MhUA2Xj1zK92KQy5n2wiVct5WJmNZD3lQXTLC-a6Fs93kUbv-hZ7tR0lvMVYVMW2txRKCu3eMiSySNARhPzuWvwk-_k/s1600/Relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSmGjHofcJwojvRK3qIVRInweMVWYR4sf3Gm94C3FnAxtHvgJ3MhUA2Xj1zK92KQy5n2wiVct5WJmNZD3lQXTLC-a6Fs93kUbv-hZ7tR0lvMVYVMW2txRKCu3eMiSySNARhPzuWvwk-_k/s1600/Relationship.jpg" height="244" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Here
are a few suggestions for committed people. You may say ‘Duh!’ when you see
this, but there is nothing outside of these points that could make or ruin your
relationship-<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">It Has
To Be Mutual</span></b><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">- This is a lesson I learned the hard way, so I’ll lay
it in front of you straight and blunt. <i>What’s
one-sided is not love</i>. If you’re obsessing about somebody who doesn’t care
about you or just doesn’t have the same intensity of feelings for you as you
have for them, you are a gone case and you need a separate article from my
side. I’ll suggest you simply stop reading this post and wait for a while. Even
if you are committed, if the level of seriousness your partner has for you is
even slightly different from the seriousness you have for them, END IT NOW. The
sooner you do it the better, because such relationships always end up with one
side getting hurt and the other side feeling guilty. Not good for anyone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">It
Needs Time</span></b><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">- No matter what you might believe, love at first
sight is a myth. The seed of love takes time to even get planted, let alone
grow tall and lush. If you like a guy/girl you met a few days/weeks/months ago
and they simply drive you crazy, first ask yourself what you want from them. I
have said this time and again, my blog is for grown-ups who have the ability to
decide for their lives. So, if you want a casual relationship, please go ahead
and take it to the next level. But if you want something serious, sit back and
wait. Make them the most important thing in your life, make yourself the
important thing in theirs. Doesn’t matter if it is a college romance which will
have no foreseeable future once you get your degrees. Wait. Set a deadline for
two years and live your life normally. If at the end of those two years, you
still want to be with that person and he/she still wants to be with you, you’re
good to go. But conditions apply, in the said two years you must be actually in
close contact with each other. And yes, it has to be mutual.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Patience
Is Must</span></b><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">- Like it or not, the truth about love is very simple.
It takes more than what most people are willing to go through. Most people who
want someone in their lives, if they read this post, won’t bother to go beyond
the first two points. Most of us will say- ‘If all that fuss is love, which by
the way is just a stupid concept, I’m content with a casual relationship’. In
the movie The Vow (which according to me is the best movie about love), a part
of the wedding vows of the lead couple reads- ‘To have the patience that love
demands’. Enough said. If you actually fall in love, you’ll grow a lot of
patience for your flame. If you see the same patience on their side too, your
relationship has a future!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">No
matter how complicated life becomes, when things actually get solved, you’ll
find out that the most appalling questions of life have very simple answers. I
recall a dialogue from a movie ‘The Prestige’- <i>Behind the greatest of magic you’ll find a simple, and disappointing,
trick</i>. That’s how life is, it is weird and baffling at times, but its
complexity is in its simplicity. Be simple and stick to your principles, and
you’ll find life quite interesting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-2851765464553271702014-08-31T23:50:00.001+05:302015-03-18T14:39:43.242+05:30The Survival Guide For Young Lovers- Why Relationships Fail<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Hey fellas! I've been writing about love for a while now. I've written about being friendzoned, being rejected, being alone, and getting over the problems that people falling in love face. But the issues of love don't just end with a happy ever after tag. Believe it or not, no matter how hurt or traumatised your unreciprocated love might have left you, it is the committed ones who actually get the raw end of the side-effects of love.</span><br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Relationships is the word of the day. And this post is being written to tell you why modern-day relationships fail over and over and over and over again. I'll let you in on a little secret. I am very obsessed with grammar and that really irritates people sometimes. So, the fact that I ignored my compulsiveness about grammar when I wrote "over and over" so many times should be enough to emphasise how fragile present-day relationships have become. It is a funny thing really. People who have always been single in their lives die to get into a relationship, but the people who do fall out of them faster than they actually get in.</span><br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;">I won't waste any time. Here are <b>A Few Reasons Why Relationships Fail</b> these days-</span><br />
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<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li><b>Technology</b>- Boys and girls, don't even think that I am declaring you innocent. Modern day relationships are a failure 11 times out of 10, and my maths is perfectly fine. The reason is nobody but us. But yeah, technology plays it's part too. It sabotages our relationships 24/7, and it does it very slowly. How, you ask. Think about it. You spend almost the entire day with your girlfriend/boyfriend or nearly none at all. Pick one, because the intermediate option is either not available or not chosen. Now, when you get committed, you talk for endless hours on the phone, text like 100 times a day, chat like every second on WhatsApp and Facebook. In many cases, your "hubby" has your Facebook ID and password too. All this digital closeness sounds really romantic but seriously frightening. That's how we become these days in a relationship, totally glued into the person we're with. And trust me, even married couples don't spend that much time talking to each other. <i>That</i> amount of closeness with somebody may seem good for a short while, but it is really frustrating in the long run. And it ends relationships. Very effectively. </li>
<li><b>Haste</b>- It takes time to fall in love with someone. It takes even more time to trust someone. My best friend shared her first secret with me 3 years after we'd become friends. That's the advisable pace for developing a healthy friendship, so do your math and you'll realise how much time you need to actually know someone enough to take the big step with them. That is exactly opposite to what we actually do. We fall in love first, leave the trust part for later. Or we just jump at the opportunity and start trusting someone we just met. The results are disastrous, and that's no surprise. </li>
<li><b>Immaturity</b>- Yes, we are adults. We are capable of deciding our own paths and making our own decisions. But that doesn't mean that we aren't immature and impulsive anymore. We make mistakes and we don't learn from them. That's how we are. And the sooner we realise that we aren't ready to make tall claims about love yet, the less hurt we give and get. Of course, we don't talk about love anymore. We just use the more "mature" word- <i>like</i>. And then we prove our immaturity yet again when we get so worked up about people we just <i>like</i>. </li>
<li><b>I Don't Even Have A Word For This One</b>- Now you'll realise how complicated commitment is. There is a factor that destroys so many relationships, but I don't even know how to put it in words. That reason is our tendency to try and be something that we are not. We try to be a husband or a wife to a person we just met when we get into a relationship. Agree with me or not, this is the truth. We don't care about the responsibilities or the duties or the sheer amount of patience that love demands but we get all possessive and protective and caring about the person we "love". See, I am a believer of love, but the version of love I have seen with almost all of the committed people I ran into in my life, is empty. It is a fake, and no matter how good a fake looks, it can't replace the original.</li>
</ol>
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Life can become a hard place at times, and all of us need companionship. Sometimes in very special ways. But getting into a relationship and actually holding on to it are two different things. I discussed the problem today. In my next post, I'll mention the solutions. In the meantime, stop and think a moment. If you're a committed person, you'll see that your answers are hidden in the very questions this post puts up. If you're single and available, you'll understand why every committed person calls you lucky. That's life buddies. The grass is always greener on the other side.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-71051939269903313992014-08-29T23:06:00.000+05:302015-03-18T14:42:46.794+05:3010 Things About Men You Must Know<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Dear girls of my generation. Before I begin, there is one thing that I will clarify. I love most (if not all) of you. You are charming and lovely and simply great to have in life. I say it on behalf of all guys of planet Earth, you simply make our lives beautiful and unpredictable.</div>
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Great, so now I've said the good stuff. Now comes the stuff you may not immediately agree with or like. To put it bluntly, you are all very unfair to us. Yes, that's not even a fraction of what the guys put you through, but you must be reminded that you are not always wronged by men. Sometimes it is us who get wronged by you as well. We wrong you by treating you as inferiors, some objects of entertainment, and by humiliating and torturing you. You wrong us by thinking of us all as monsters, whilst most of us are not. And that's something that must be changed.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So, here's 10 Things About Men You Must Know-</div>
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<ol>
<li><b>Sex Isn't Everything</b>- While it is a fact that men mostly crave for your bodies more than you, it isn't a mathematical rule that applies on everybody. It is more of a statistic that turns out to be correct more often than not. Let me put this straight for you. <i>We want sex, numerous times and from various sources, but sex isn't the only thing on our mind all the time</i>. So try to get over the paranoia and try to see things clearly. You'll find more angels than devils if you look properly.</li>
<li><b>Our Aggression Isn't Our Reality</b>- Okay, being a girl is a difficult job. The reason is us men. But being a man has it's own downsides too. You can't be too sensitive or people will laugh at you and think of you as a wimp. You can be too insensitive but not everyone's self-conscience allows it. In fact, our seeming insensitivity and aggression is our mask which conceals our true self. A little patience can bring out a very caring, soft core that you would've never imagined by yourselves.</li>
<li><b>We Can Be Faithful</b>- While you blame us for being unreliable and materialistic lovers, we can actually be quite honest and faithful if we really care. Believe it or not, men turn out to be more reliable friends than women to both the sexes. And in my life, I've seen an equal number of cheating girls as I've seen cheating guys in relationships. Same holds true for the loyal ones.</li>
<li><b>We Are Misjudged Too</b>- Every time you say "All men are dogs" or "Men will be men", you seal our society's fate of being doomed. It's a psychological fact- if you criticize someone too much, they simply stop caring. In our society, every guy grows up hearing how hopelessly bad and insensitive men are. And thus we become as we are accused, because it doesn't matter anymore. Even if you are good, you'll still be looked upon as bad.</li>
<li><b>Respect Must Be Mutual</b>- Girls, it is right to stand up for yourselves and your honour. But sometimes you take it too far. Yes, we aren't your superiors, but we aren't your inferiors either. If you fight for your equality, we are there with you. But if you want special treatment and perks, you simply go against the very concept of equality. Don't jump the line, share the run of life with us.</li>
<li><b>Being Men Isn't Our Fault</b>- Okay, we don't understand your problems. Yes, we don't know what you go through everyday. But how can we, unless you tell us? It isn't our fault that we were born with the X-Y chromosome. If a guy has earned your trust, he deserves to know your problems and your troubles, instead of being whiffed off with a "You won't understand, you're a guy".</li>
<li><b>We Are Better Than The Worst Of Us</b>- Men who rape and victimize you aren't real men. They might be everywhere, they might exist in every aspect of our society, but they still aren't all of us. Please don't think of all of us as monsters because of the few of us who actually are.</li>
<li><b>You Need Us Too</b>- No matter how much argument goes on between men and women, they'll always end up together. That's how we were created, that's how we are meant to be. Together. If you just stop despising all of us, our coexistence could get just a little more pleasant.</li>
<li><b>We're Not The Enemy</b>- The only way to win a war is to know who the enemy is. And we aren't your enemy. Your enemy is a particular and very recognisable mindset that our society lives with. Believe it or not, an independent girl won't come out of a household where the mother treats the boy and the girl separately. You may not know it, but you hold a lot of power in your hands. Learn to use it when time permits.</li>
<li><b>Boys Do Cry</b>- Well, we aren't as insensitive as we are perceived to be. You, must understand that between our emotions and adrenaline, we get aggressive when we get hurt. Now I don't know how to tackle this, but try to understand us. You'll get less angry at us, and you'll hate us less.</li>
</ol>
Dear girls, I'll say it again. We love you, and want you to love us too, even though we don't exactly earn it in day-to-day life. The world will be a better place if we only understand each other better. Now there are uncountably many blogs and posts and essays and articles out there that present your perspective. I supplied one that presents ours!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-47444885468121859832014-08-27T16:43:00.003+05:302014-08-27T16:44:23.515+05:30The Survival Guide For Young Lovers- 10 Reasons To Never Give Up On Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2RAsjQNet9bowYhW-9ddlqRW2_GpK7u4eBMnu5n8BSMm8rxcYfkMqbWLZmOvUrQFTo7pPsnB1Pk365m4rjP31pWLJggtV3c3rEeakuYFvvhq1osIgMmL51fhmQqHaBN3ym-Nzhvq97fo/s1600/broken-heart-wrapped-in-chain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2RAsjQNet9bowYhW-9ddlqRW2_GpK7u4eBMnu5n8BSMm8rxcYfkMqbWLZmOvUrQFTo7pPsnB1Pk365m4rjP31pWLJggtV3c3rEeakuYFvvhq1osIgMmL51fhmQqHaBN3ym-Nzhvq97fo/s1600/broken-heart-wrapped-in-chain.jpg" height="259" width="320" /></a></div>
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Dear readers, if this picture isn't the best possible image that can be used to represent your heart, then you are either from another time or another generation. Establishing a theory as universal is always a dangerous thing. But I dare. And I say this with utmost surety. <b>Each and every person who belongs to our generation has had a heartbreak at least once in life (or is about to have one)</b>. And as they say, <i>once bitten twice shy</i>. A broken heart can't be mended. So we just put it back together and lock it away, so that nobody may hurt us again. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioh9wgNWSDYyqhwCdXoy8_0_PEXNolcNw6MhDEedqV31POqMttGZvAabDSp27VlJNH7g3dDliCIAd8bgxURN86vcreONIymKEyWK0Chg33r1ZGNstQ8M59cVuqCFZktti129z-03YvU8o/s1600/i-feel-like-my-heart-will-never-be-the-same-broken-heart-quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioh9wgNWSDYyqhwCdXoy8_0_PEXNolcNw6MhDEedqV31POqMttGZvAabDSp27VlJNH7g3dDliCIAd8bgxURN86vcreONIymKEyWK0Chg33r1ZGNstQ8M59cVuqCFZktti129z-03YvU8o/s1600/i-feel-like-my-heart-will-never-be-the-same-broken-heart-quote.jpg" height="236" width="320" /></a></div>
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That's how the cycle of love goes. The picture on the right says something that none of us can deny. Whoever wrote these lines did an awesome job. I can't think of any better way to express the message this pic conveys. I can only say that such is the nature of love. Not love, in fact. Love is a very feral and pristine feeling. It's uncontrollable. What varies with our experiences is trust. We put our trust in people time and again. We get betrayal. The next time somebody makes our heart skip a beat, we muster all the strength we can and turn our back at them. We are too afraid to trust again.</div>
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And that's how we live these days. Every time some friend of ours gets hurt, we don't hug them and say- "It's okay, dear. You'll find someone better." We say- "I had already told you that he/she was not worth it, but you were too stupid to understand. This world is selfish. You should be too. Be practical and face the truth."</div>
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Now the irony of the situation is that this "practical" friend described here will eventually commit the same mistakes that the "stupid" one did. Tried and tested fact. We are all "stupid". But our very nature is to vent out our pent-up frustration is to brag about how bad the world is. Trust me, the world is only as bad as we are.</div>
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My point is simple. You'll make many friends in life. Most of them will advise you to not get too involved with anyone and live life "practically" (which translates to selfishly). Don't follow them, because the moment they start falling for someone they'll dump their own principles and become "stupid" like you. We have become a negative race of people because the only thing we spread is negativity. Get out of it, there is a lot better world out there.</div>
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So, here are my 1<b>0 Reasons To Never Give Up On Love</b>-</div>
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<ol>
<li><b>You'll Never Be Young Again</b>- While it is true that there is no age for love, but for most of us there is a <i>best</i> age for love. And it is now, at this very moment that is escaping your grasp. It's better to take a risk and regret it than to <i>not</i> take a risk and regret it. And love, my fellows, is the most beautiful risk you could ever take.</li>
<li><b>We all Need a Companion</b>- Again,a very petty argument is that a girlfriend/boyfriend is companion enough. "We don't need to fall in love for that"- you say. Well, I am sorry to say, but this blog is not for school-going fellas, but for real grown-ups. And while the concept of a fun girlfriend/boyfriend relationship does seem lucrative, that's not the company you'll want when the time comes.</li>
<li><b>Love Is In The Air</b>- While you are busy being strong and showing your cool nonchalant attitude, hot singles out there are dwindling by the second. If you like someone, now's the time to say it. Before they get booked!</li>
<li><b>There's Always A Next Time</b>- If you want to know the relevance of this point, I'll suggest you watch the movie <i>500 Days of Summer</i>. No matter how hard you get hurt in love, you'll always find someone who makes you fall again. And as I humbly pointed out in Reason number one, better today than tomorrow.</li>
<li><b>Every Wrong Option Is One Step Closer To The Right One</b>- I didn't say this. A scientist named Edison did. When famous people say something, it generally turns out to be true. So don't worry if you got betrayed by someone you loved. You'll make a better decision next time.</li>
<li><b>Losers Give Up, You Pile Of Shit</b>- Where's your ego, my friend? How could that person get away with what they did to you? They deserve to know that they had a gem that they traded for a lump of coal. Find someone better and teach them a lesson. Besides, you are worth a great person. So if an asshole dumped you, all for the better.</li>
<li><b>Don't Do To Others What Someone Did To You</b>- Evil is not a tendency, it is a cycle. When somebody does something bad to us, we take revenge. But then we also do bad to others. We try to justify our mistakes by saying that the entire world does it, so why not us. My point, the world will always be evil until an exception springs up. Try to be that exception. You always believed in the idea of kindness, hope and love. So take up the task of actually making others believe in these. <i>Influence people instead of getting influenced by people</i>. You are a person after all, not sheep.</li>
<li><b>Opportunities Don't Last Forever</b>- There is a fair chance that there is someone out there who is slowly making their way into your heart but is blocked by your over-caution. I don't say that you should rush and give them a chance, but at least give them a fair chance to prove themselves. They won't wait for you forever. As SRK politely told the entire world- "<i>uss haath ko tum thaam lo, wo meherbaan kal ho na ho</i>".</li>
<li><b>It Feels Good To Be Able To Rely On Someone</b>- If you have someone you can trust, your life becomes infinitely better. I won't say any more, it's a tried and tested formula.</li>
<li><b>You Believe In Love After All</b>- No matter how much you deny it, you believe in love, and you believe that you will find it. So, drop your mask and live free. Be honest with yourself. The reason why we always end up blaming the world's deceit and lies is that we are not honest ourselves. Let go of the lies, embrace your truth, and see what becomes of life.</li>
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To wrap it up, I'll add another miscellaneous reason to keep falling in love. <i>I believe that a broken heart can love much better than a perfect one. It has seen pain, so it knows care.</i> Life is all about choices. Don't try to make perfect choices, try to make good ones.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-83727083326814020272014-08-26T00:00:00.002+05:302014-08-26T00:01:42.602+05:30The Survival Guide For Young Lovers- Friendzone Revisited<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIIvYOlc8qKNT-t4IvSj1zmbpun1qHpleXSnYxlbZyExxxeAadlxGZmPJ_ofjFxpOZWmqC75-2OryhfFNEZwTIrelqYPutpJ-oQItgWvjf8NJ2OT71LnBAy1S8Mx7DvqRO9qK5Gej4Lk8/s1600/Colourful+Abstract+(6).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIIvYOlc8qKNT-t4IvSj1zmbpun1qHpleXSnYxlbZyExxxeAadlxGZmPJ_ofjFxpOZWmqC75-2OryhfFNEZwTIrelqYPutpJ-oQItgWvjf8NJ2OT71LnBAy1S8Mx7DvqRO9qK5Gej4Lk8/s1600/Colourful+Abstract+(6).jpg" height="256" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>"Why should we continue to be friends with a person we love but who doesn't reciprocate our feelings? After all, you end up getting frustrated every time you see that person with someone else. A friction is bound to develop once you confess. So, I can't agree that friendship should remain. That when you have millions of options available. Just go out and explore, or you'll neglect the potential love of your life trying to exhaust your brain-cells trying to please that one person."</i><br />
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This, dear readers, was a friend of mine commenting about my previous post. My reply- "The easier way isn't the right one, not outside the domain of mathematics."<br />
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Guys and girls, I never said that it will be easy to cope up with a situation where you get Friendzoned. The feelings are always pretty messed up, frustration keeps on mounting, everything becomes increasingly difficult. It seems a lot easier to simply run away. There was a time when I was in that situation too. I fell in love with a friend. The feeling wasn't mutual. Trust me, I too decided to give up that friendship and take my own separate path. For days and weeks on end, I kept saying to myself- "She rejected my love, now I'll reject her friendship."<br />
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Luckily, I clung on. Today, I am grateful to have that girl in my life as my best friend. American Pie is not the ideal movie series to quote things from, but I will quote a dialogue that fits very well in this situation.<br />
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"I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you at all."<br />
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Love is a strong feeling. So is the pain of rejection. But parting from a great friend is always more harm than good. Besides, didn't you fall in love in the first place because your friend did his/her job too well? You may not like this analogy very much, but leaving a friend just because you fell in love with them is like firing an employee because they excelled at work.<br />
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Anyways, my friend (who has recently renounced lots of her older self to switch towards practicality) put forth quite some arguments that need to be countered.<br />
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First of all, <b>why you must continue to be friends with a person you fell in love with</b>. The reason is quite simple- that is the only right thing to do. Your friend was there with you when you needed somebody. They made life happening for you. That is why you fell in love with them. So it would not only be unfair if you left them, it will be stupid as well. Unfair, because it is your duty as a friend to be on their side when they need somebody too. Stupid, because you are pushing off a strong support of your life with your own hands.<br />
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Still not convinced? I knew it! So let's move on to argument number two. <b>We end up getting frustrated every time we see our flame with someone else</b>. Dear readers, all arguments aside, this is the primary and most important reason why friendzoned lovers drift apart from their flames. Correction, this is the only reason. This is the one key thing that spoils many kinds of relationships all around the world. Frustration. And this frustration comes out of one very human quality. Possessiveness.<br />
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Now, I did mention in my previous post that don't ever get over-possessive about the friend you love. But obviously, it's easy to write out but very difficult to actually pull-off (again, something that I did mention last time). You can't get rid of your possessiveness in a day. It is very hard to do. It takes time, and a few outbursts from the victim of your possessiveness. But given proper time and effort, it does happen.<br />
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Again, this is not a very convincing solution. But this is life, friends. One thing leads to another. That's where argument number three comes into the picture. <b>Just go out and explore, or you'll neglect the potential love of your life trying to exhaust your brain-cells trying to please that one person</b>. Now this is an argument that I totally agree with. You <b>must </b>go on with your life and explore the possibilities. That's why I pointed out the need to continue flirting and enjoying after you get friendzoned. I know it isn't easy, but it actually helps. And yes, you must give time to all of your friends and not just the one who swept you off your feet. If you even honestly try to do so, you'll find that your friendzone issue becomes exponentially less frustrating. As I previously said, a good bunch of friends can pull you out of your worst nightmares without even breaking a sweat. To put it in a fancy single line- <i>You can't get possessive about someone unless you subconsciously believe that they possess you</i>. Set yourself free first, and you'll see that it becomes very easy to give proper space and freedom to the one you love. This particular advice will not only help you to cope up with a friendzone issue, but also when you successfully get into a relationship with someone. Yes, possessiveness is an issue for the blissfully committed too.<br />
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And yes, <b>a friction is bound to develop once you confess</b>. That's very true. Once you confess for a lost cause in love, a great deal of awkwardness settles in. That awkwardness is a time-based issue, no advice or remedy can clear it out for you. The only chance you have is your understanding with the friend you confessed to, and the passage of time. Rest assured, awkwardness is like fog. No matter how thick it is, summer comes and it vanishes like it never existed.<br />
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My friend said that with her experiences and based on what she had seen in other people's lives, being friends after getting friendzoned is not a good idea. Not in her opinion anyway. I don't have any counter-argument or cheeky retort to challenge that opinion. I can just say that, in my opinion, the first sign of maturity is originality. So, I'd suggest that you must not make an opinion about anything based on what you saw in other people's lives. You should learn from their mistakes, yes, but you should always keep room for the crazier alternative. Most people in this world give up too soon. That doesn't mean that giving up is the only way, or the only practical decision. If you think that you can be a little stubborn with life and take the road not taken, you should learn to always give your friendship another chance. After all, in theory at least, love is meant to open the doors instead of closing them.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-44380448759968623872014-08-25T00:34:00.000+05:302014-08-25T00:46:31.285+05:30The Survival Guide For Young Lovers- When You Get Friendzoned<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This, dear readers, is the most accurate representation of love as it occurs today. Gone are the days when stupid old Cupid would make a grand (and obvious) entry into our lives. The bow and arrow are old technology, relics of a bygone era. The modern day Cupid is sneaky and tricky. So is love.</div>
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Most of us are so fed up with the concept of love that we have long trashed the term and replaced it with "more mature" terminologies like INFATUATION and ADORATION. We are human beings, we have certain needs. If we meet somebody who understands and fulfills them, we might return the favour. </div>
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Okay, maybe that was too extreme. But a living, breathing person said all this to me. More importantly, this is a very popular opinion. I won't justify it or oppose it. All of us have been in and out of love at least once, whether we'd openly say it or not. And that's why we deny its very existence.</div>
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But that's not my topic today. I am here to talk about the worldly manifestation of living hell for a person who is in love (I mean, who is greatly infatuated) with someone. I am here to discuss the state of limbo that most of us poor souls are lost in. The horrifying, terror-striking, FRIENDZONE!</div>
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Those who haven't been there, consider yourselves lucky (or admit the truth that you're denying). Those like myself, I can only give you my deepest sympathies. </div>
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Most of us have that friend who just sweeps us off our feet without even knowing it. When that person speaks, the rest of the world stops for a moment. When that person laughs, it is your heart that stops. Every thing that you do, everything that you speak or think, includes that one person. But while you think of that person as your only soulmate, he/she isn't even aware of what is actually going on. So, when the calamity strikes, it strikes both of you. That's how the trap works.</div>
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It wasn't your fault that you fell in love with your closest friend. But it wasn't their fault either. When your friend did those little special things that he/she never does for anybody in the world, your heart saw all its dreams come true. But your friend had no intention of giving you the wrong signal. As helpless as you were to see hope where none existed, he/she was equally so.</div>
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That's all well and good, but the question is- what next? You can't just be friends with someone you love and live with it. Sooner or later you'll get frustrated with such a compromise and an outburst will follow. Or you'll just slowly withdraw yourself from your friend until the whatever remains of your friendship is just a formality. In my opinion, both of these actions are unfair, not only to your friend, but to you too.</div>
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What I am going to say now is easy to write but excruciatingly difficult to do. The best way to cope up with the Friendzone is to live with it. You can't fall in love with a person in one day. It takes time, lots of it. And if you've spent a lot of time with somebody, it's natural that you struck a nice friendship with them. Just because you fell in love with them and they didn't have the same feelings for you shouldn't be a reason to end such a strong bond.</div>
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As I said, it is easy to say so but very hard to actually pull off. So, here's the do's and don'ts for you if you've been Friendzoned-</div>
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<b>Do</b></div>
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<ol>
<li><u><b>Confess:</b></u> If a Friendzone issue is plaguing your life, you must spit it out to your friend. He/she is above all your friend, and being your friend, they deserve to know your problem, even if it concerns them. Hiding things will only make them worse. </li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Clarify:</u> You fell in love. Not a sin. Your friend didn't. Not a crime either. As long as both of you understand this, there is nothing to worry about. If you understand each other enough to not be affected by the fact that there is one-sided love creeping into your precinct, your friendship will go on smoothly (and who knows, a no today can be a yes tomorrow). If the understanding isn't strong enough to cope up with this issue, I'd say that it's good that your relationship was limited to just friends. Either way, if you tackle the situation with maturity, the problem will vanish automatically. </li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Be Normal:</u> I know, I know. It's very tough to be normal around someone who makes you choke and gasp at sight. But hey, you managed to pull it off so far! All these days that you were just a careless jovial friend and you did good. You can continue the good work! </li>
<li> <u style="font-weight: bold;">Maintain a Group:</u> For you, the one friend you love must be the top-priority as of now, but don't forget that you have other friends as well, and so does your flame. Spend time with your group. If your group is the same as your flame's, you must ensure that you give time to all of your friends and encourage your beloved to do the same. You may not believe this, but a nice group of friends can pull you out of almost any trouble. </li>
<li> <u style="font-weight: bold;">Flirt:</u> You love somebody who doesn't love you. Bad news! But there's an upside here. You're still single! And so is the friend you fell in love with. So, in my humble opinion, it isn't wrong at all if you flirt with him/her. Go on, it'll cheer you up if you do it only for fun and not expect any hopeful response out of it. Flirting is a practically, if not scientifically, proven formula to relieve you from stress. </li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Develop a Hobby:</u> You would've realized by now that handling a Friendzone situation is very much like handling a breakup (and still staying friends). Positivity rules. Let it guide you through the dark times.</li>
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<b><u>Don't</u></b></div>
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<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Get Possessive:</u> If you are a hot-headed control-freak, please ignore this point. But if you are not, this point can make or ruin your life. Nobody can cope up with extreme possessiveness, especially if it springs up suddenly. If your friend doesn't know about your feelings, he/she will be confused. In the other alternative, if they know, they'll be frustrated. Remember, it isn't your friend's fault that you fell in love with them. Your possessiveness and control over their life should be within the limits of a friend. Trust me, I say this for your own good. If you go down the road of possessiveness, you'll end up getting hurt by the very person you love. </li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Neglect Lesser Mortals:</u> Yes, don't neglect other elements in your life. You have family, you have friends, you have work (and studies, yeah I know it's a lame point). Your love shouldn't get in the way of these things. </li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Sink into Gloom:</u> The last thing your friend wants is to see you unhappy. So, if you do love him/her, live with a smile for their sake. No, don't even think about faking it. Both friendship and love demand honesty, and you're in a double-whammy. There, you're stuck again.</li>
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To wrap it up, I'll just say that life is too short to live with regrets. And trust me, losing a worthy friend because of failed love can be the biggest regret of life. The best way around a problem is through it. There, your Friendzone awaits you!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-90168558699252572232014-08-22T14:52:00.001+05:302014-08-25T00:46:31.305+05:30Ego- The Fallen Angel!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Today's post is about ego. We know how it spoils our relationships, we know how much it damages us, we also know how it keeps us from following our heart at times. So this is how we see it!<br />
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That, my friends, is your biggest mistake. Ego is not your enemy. It's just a thing that exists. Good or bad depends on how we handle it. It's like fire- use it carefully and it becomes the very reason why we advanced from the stone age. Be careless with it, and it burns everything you ever loved. Ego is like friction- it is a necessary evil. It protects us time and again, but we only notice it when it starts hurting us. Whose fault is it, then? The answer, my friends, is that the fault is ours.<br />
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Ego is a part of our mental and interpersonal environment. It is a device that ensures the overall success of our entire social existence. It's like an organ of the machinery. That's why we never notice it, not until something goes wrong.<br />
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There are many who consider ego to be a swollen pride mixed with overconfidence and arrogance. But ego is just a harder term for self-respect. Ego is the amount of respect you have for yourself as compared to others. There is nothing evil or wrong about the existence of ego. We make it wrong when we confuse it with pride and arrogance and mix these chemicals which were meant to remain in separate flasks. Result, kaboom! Our world goes up in flames and we blame poor old ego (generally it's others who do the blaming while we are caught up in our vanity).<br />
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Mostly, we never mention the word ego until we want to attribute a negative point on someone. Self-confidence is the term that we assume fit for all humble beings. When it swells up to monstrous magnitudes, it becomes ego. That's why I referred to ego as a fallen angel in the title. Angels were supposed to be wise and brave and benevolent. They were meant to fight evil and spread peace in the world. So, when one of them switched sides and turned evil himself, the very idea of angels became hazy. Why would people believe in them as heroes and follow them? That's why the turned angel was stripped of his title and rechristened Satan, the devil.<br />
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That's how we dealt with pride and self-confidence. We couldn't justify these qualities as good if they existed in bad people as well, so we fashioned a new term for their darker counterpart. Ego.<br />
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And that's the mistake we make. By assuming that ego is any different from the good qualities that we possess, by naming humility and arrogance as opposite tendencies, we block our own route of improvement. Satan couldn't flip his switch again, but we can. Only if we know that ego is not an enemy. Our way of interpreting it is.<br />
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We are a society of people who give up on people before they can get in a position to hurt us. Giving up is our prime talent. And I can't say that it's a very steep measure to give up on a person with a swollen pride. 'Arrogant' and 'asshole' are synonyms in our society.<br />
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The problem is, we didn't bring the present scenario. We just landed right in the middle of it. And although we claim of being modern and smart and different, we do the same mistakes and pay the same price. Love, friendship, affection, people, we give up on all of them one by one because we get hurt and humiliated trying to preserve them in our lives. And a person's arrogance is an outstanding excuse to abandon him/her.<br />
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I wouldn't say that you should try and give people a chance. Social-work is not our agenda. I'd just ask you a simple question. What if the arrogant person under observation turns out to be you? It's not impossible, you know. You could be the most humble person on the planet and yet there will be times when your pride becomes overconfidence and overconfidence becomes ego.<br />
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What would you do? Would you just say- "I don't give a shit to the world"? Probably you would. But that's a mask that everyone wears these days. We are humans. We try to show ourselves as strong and independent, but we all need people at our side in the end. So, if your entire neighborhood boycotts you one fine day, would you not expect your best friend or your mother to understand your problems? We can't see the truth of a situation until it happens to us.<br />
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And that abandonment is the first stage of a person's downfall, in the moral sense. Going back to the analogy, there was an angel who once turned evil and was cast away. No doubt he deserved it. But what next? Satan was abandoned, by God, by the very entity who is at everybody's side no matter how good or evil they become. He had no friends or allies. So he moved on. He found company in similar people, abandoned souls, and became their leader.<br />
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That's what we do to an egoist when we leave him/her alone. We abandon them, so they find people of their own kind and mix until they reach a point of no return. I don't have any ideas about how God should have dealt with Satan, I don't even know his story properly. But I do know that our society makes a mistake when it tries to keep criminals in the company of criminals and cripples in the company of cripples. We, the so called normal people are normal only because we get to meet and know people not like us. Don't they show in the movies that an evil man is forced into the company of a wonderful woman and changes for the better?<br />
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My point is, Satan deserved punishment, still does. But if he had gotten a chance to stay with the other angels, he wouldn't have fallen so far. Only, I can't extend that theory to cover every murderer and sociopath in our society. I don't because I have no idea how to practically implement this theory. But when we talk about a person who we leave alone for his/her ego, we can give them a better option. We can give them a better chance. As a person, we must learn to live with the ego within us and in others as well.<br />
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Don't fight ego, embrace it. No matter how hard you try, you can't get rid of it. So it's better to turn it into an ally, understand it, and guide it properly. If you want to be good, you'll have to turn your ego to your side. You'll have to realize that you can't live properly if you let your ego grow either too weak or too strong. Be like a diamond- everybody may wonder and gasp at your vibrancy and your dazzling charm. But if somebody tries to defeat you and to gobble you up, you're the hardest substance known to man. Everybody knows that the beautiful diamond will rip them inside out if swallowed.<br />
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That's how I see ego. A fallen angel who can be turned again. Whether you succeed or not is up to you, but ego will stay either way. But your perspective about ego might be different, maybe better too. I will be waiting for different ideas. Until next time!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-55793674192079042262014-08-21T14:43:00.002+05:302014-08-25T00:46:31.291+05:30Love Love, Go Away...Come Again Another Day!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
"I was born a romantic and I will die a romantic."<br />
If you feel like puking at this outrageously cheesy line, you're the ones who must read this blog.<br />
The romantics, you'll read it anyway. And for the balanced and matured types who are just too nonchalant to care about shit like this, I'll suggest that you read it once and continue with your browsing.<br />
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I'll begin with a confirmation. There are people who say that love is God. Trust me when I say this- by all practical logic and realism I can summon, I declare that they are right. Love is God, or at least analogous to God!<br />
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'There we go! Here's another star-struck daydreamer who is about to brag about the silly idea of love.' But don't hit the exit button yet. I said I am being realistic, not romantic.<br />
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I'll say it one more time. Love is like God. Why? Well, there are numerous reasons. No matter what category of people you belong to, you will agree with me when I say that even though nobody has actually seen or heard love, a lot of people still worship it. Pretty much what we do with God.<br />
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There are many ways in which people perceive love. Some believe it to be the exact mushy mushy stuff they show in the movies, while some say that there is nothing like love. It's just care, affection, infatuation, whatever you call it. Similarly, when we talk about God, some of us talk about the idols we worship while some don't believe in the orthodox idea of God and replace it with some unknown entity who made the world. Love unites us and divides us at the same time, pretty similar to what God does.<br />
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That's the greatest similarity between God and love. They are both concepts rather than anything tangible. The degree to which we believe in them or the way we manifest them in our thoughts are more of a choice.<br />
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I believe that the idea of God was perceived to organize people under a common set of ideologies. God was the concept that bound the very grassroots of our society.<br />
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So was love. Maybe it is just infatuation. Maybe its just an idea that we made up to cover up a lot of lesser feelings that we wouldn't heed to unless they were combined under a greater concept. A parent loves his/her children, provides them with the best, even if it means to sacrifice his/her own comforts. It is a love that arises out of duty, but is it just limited to it?<br />
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A friend's or a lover's love arises out of common interest and the good time you spend with them (and a little contribution of bodily desires too, when we speak of lovers). But the friendships and the relationships that actually go a long way are based on a lot more than that. That is the point. You can't explain love, and the human tendency is that we want everything simplified. What we can't understand, what we can't analyse and judge, we fear it.<br />
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We are a bunch of broken hearts. That's another reason to avoid the idea of love, totally drop it even. But as I mentioned in my last post. Life is a Temple Run game. You can't get it right the first time, not in 99 out of 100 times. Doesn't mean that you just drop the idea of love as a bad habit.<br />
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There's a lot more worth writing, but between your attention-span and my own laziness, I guess I will write another post about love some other day. In the meantime, your ideas and suggestions and comments are most welcome. After all, these posts are meant to make you think, and we tend to think more in the middle of an argument! </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7028029835393256282.post-14831578640948508542014-08-20T19:54:00.000+05:302014-08-25T00:46:31.276+05:30Life- A Game of Temple Run<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Life has its own ways of teaching us. Sometimes we learn from what people tell us, sometimes we learn from our own experiences. Our mistakes, our deeds, their outcomes, they are all great teachers. And yes, the greatest teacher of them all is time. But life isn't as easy as it looks, and all of us know this sooner or later. And we all find this out the hard way.<br />
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The most important question is, how do we approach life? The answer is simple. It's not my damn business! Not your life at least. I, or anybody else for that matter, can only give you a few directives and suggestions. But you'll have to figure out your own way. To put that in an analogy, wouldn't it be ridiculous if somebody came up and asked you- "How should I play Temple Run?" You'd probably say- "Just keep running!"<br />
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And that's what life is- it is a game of Temple Run. We keep running, we run into obstacles, get shattered, and then start all over again. Not always, though. Sometimes we use a 'Save Me' gem and continue our run from where we were interrupted. That's the fun of it. As long as we live, we're constantly exploring things this game throws in front of us. Sometimes we make the right choices, sometimes we don't. But, call this a very general experience, life never stops giving us opportunities. Yes, the next opportunity may not be as good as the last one, but you could count on it. There will always be a next time. There will always be a next run!<br />
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So, the next time you fall, remember to get back up and start running again. The confusions, the obstacles, the bonuses, they are all temporary. They are all features that make the game interesting.Your emotions may overcome you (they do that to me all the time) but they will subside. No matter where the road takes you, it will take you somewhere. Just try to ensure that you choose wisely. If you can't, there is always a 'Save Me' gem in your pocket. It is more commonly known as hope. Hold on to it. Trust yourself. Trust your instincts. But most importantly, trust the dynamism of life.<br />
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Have fun, and keep coming back for more interesting ideas about life, and whatever comes in it.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12927993119186166291noreply@blogger.com2