When Everything Goes Wrong

Okay, you might see life as a big blob of jelly, its one unit in itself and you can’t really subdivide it, but I say life is a set of discrete experiences and you can turn it around anytime. This post is for those who think that the best years of their lives have been wasted and now they will have to just play by the rules set by destiny. Let me tell you this – there might be someone else out there who is writing your destiny, but the handwriting in which it is written is yours. No matter how you see it, life will never stop giving you options, possibilities, and chances. The next opportunity might not be as lucrative as the last one but I can bet you for all my money, there will always be a next opportunity.

You may be a college student who let go of his/her studies in the initial years and now sees a very bad future ahead, or you may be one who failed to realise that what you were studying wasn't what you were made for but can’t take the unconventional path now, or you may be a middle-aged man who realised far too late that your life had been on the wrong path and now there is nothing you can do about it. Its normal, it happens to all of us. We spend years and years of our lives trying to build something (a home, a family, a career) and then we realise that it isn't what we had dreamt of, it isn't even what we wanted in the first place. Now you can’t just throw it away and start afresh. Life is not MS Word where you can simply Delete a mistake and type it again.

This mentality is totally acceptable, and normal. But it won’t take you very far. Once you’ve understood the nature of your problem, human instinct doesn’t allow you to sit still and do nothing about it. Once you’ve realised that your life isn’t going in your desired direction, your instincts will revolt and you will break down. That burn-out will destroy a lot, but in that destruction you will comprehend that there is always the next fight to win.

This post is for those who want to change the course of their lives but feel powerless to do so.

1.       Live One Day At-A Time – Right, you lived the worst day of your life. You lost too much, and you gave up. I don’t blame you. The next day came, but you were too hopeless to fight back. I don’t judge you. That state of pathetic existence stayed on for years. I still believe in you. Why? Because when it’s going all wrong, all it takes is one good day to change it. It doesn’t matter what your past was, the future has never met the past you see. You lost, you gave up, repeat. That cycle went on for a long time. But winning or losing, fighting back or giving up, being awesome or being pathetic, these are everyday choices, not long term phenomena. You choose to win or lose every single day. One day, someday, you’ll decide to be awesome and then you will win where you had only known failure. You just need to know that inside. That’s the first thing you must do. Take the decision of fighting for your cause every day you can, and even if you fail one day, there will be another. You’ll be awestruck when you see how short-term decisions affect the long run.

2.      Greet People Nicely – A smile can work wonders! All you need to do is look lively. Research has shown that most of the time, how our entire day goes with a person depends on how that person behaves with us in the first three minutes. That’s right, three good minutes can change a bad date into a good one, a supposed fight into a settlement, a rejection into an acceptance, a lost deal into a sealed one. Besides, the more you smile, the happier you get. Seems like a good choice to me.

3.      Work With Spark – It doesn’t matter how bad the previous day was. What matters is how you make this current day. And you can make it great if you choose to be good at work. You don’t need to put good effort, or show self-discipline, just do things how you always do them, only with some enthusiasm. Just focus on being the best version of yourself and the results will come right at you.

4.      Make Today Different – Always ask yourself this question “What’s different about today?” The answer could be anything or nothing. Generally, there is nothing different about any day. It’s just another day of your life. There could be a holiday, or a weekend, or a festival, or some other special day that fills you with the energy to make the most out of it. But generally all days are alike. And that’s where you can turn your pessimism to your advantage. There is nothing about today that is different. Lead yourself to another question – “How do I make today different from yesterday?” The answer is simple. By being a different person today. Try to put something extra in your day today. You’ll see sparkling results in the long run.

5.      Challenge Life – Most of us are simply going where life is taking us. Change that. Be led by life, but always work methods to lead life in your way. Pick a hobby, develop it. Give it time. You’ll find out that you are capable of handling a lot more than just the few things you’ve been doing so far. Make plans for the future. Not plans like “I’ll finish college and get a job”. Make plans that say “I will study this chapter today and practice public speaking in front of the mirror at night”. Short-term plans are easier to follow and more fruitful. Besides, by adding your hobbies into your priorities, you open up new possibilities for yourself even though you are going where life is taking you.

As I said earlier, it is totally normal to feel defeated and swept away at times. But the problem is that even after we give up on ourselves there will be a next morning where we have to wake up and live. Even after we lose everything there will be people who expect us to succeed – friends, parents, and siblings. And even if everybody else gives up on us, we can’t live out our days in self-pity. One day or the other, you’ll get tired and try to make something of your life. So why not do it today? Why wait for a good-looking opportunity? Just be the best version of you in whatever you are doing at the moment. Whatever it is. That alone shall make your life ten times better than it is right now.