Hey fellas! I've been writing about love for a while now. I've written about being friendzoned, being rejected, being alone, and getting over the problems that people falling in love face. But the issues of love don't just end with a happy ever after tag. Believe it or not, no matter how hurt or traumatised your unreciprocated love might have left you, it is the committed ones who actually get the raw end of the side-effects of love.
Relationships is the word of the day. And this post is being written to tell you why modern-day relationships fail over and over and over and over again. I'll let you in on a little secret. I am very obsessed with grammar and that really irritates people sometimes. So, the fact that I ignored my compulsiveness about grammar when I wrote "over and over" so many times should be enough to emphasise how fragile present-day relationships have become. It is a funny thing really. People who have always been single in their lives die to get into a relationship, but the people who do fall out of them faster than they actually get in.
I won't waste any time. Here are A Few Reasons Why Relationships Fail these days-
- Technology- Boys and girls, don't even think that I am declaring you innocent. Modern day relationships are a failure 11 times out of 10, and my maths is perfectly fine. The reason is nobody but us. But yeah, technology plays it's part too. It sabotages our relationships 24/7, and it does it very slowly. How, you ask. Think about it. You spend almost the entire day with your girlfriend/boyfriend or nearly none at all. Pick one, because the intermediate option is either not available or not chosen. Now, when you get committed, you talk for endless hours on the phone, text like 100 times a day, chat like every second on WhatsApp and Facebook. In many cases, your "hubby" has your Facebook ID and password too. All this digital closeness sounds really romantic but seriously frightening. That's how we become these days in a relationship, totally glued into the person we're with. And trust me, even married couples don't spend that much time talking to each other. That amount of closeness with somebody may seem good for a short while, but it is really frustrating in the long run. And it ends relationships. Very effectively.
- Haste- It takes time to fall in love with someone. It takes even more time to trust someone. My best friend shared her first secret with me 3 years after we'd become friends. That's the advisable pace for developing a healthy friendship, so do your math and you'll realise how much time you need to actually know someone enough to take the big step with them. That is exactly opposite to what we actually do. We fall in love first, leave the trust part for later. Or we just jump at the opportunity and start trusting someone we just met. The results are disastrous, and that's no surprise.
- Immaturity- Yes, we are adults. We are capable of deciding our own paths and making our own decisions. But that doesn't mean that we aren't immature and impulsive anymore. We make mistakes and we don't learn from them. That's how we are. And the sooner we realise that we aren't ready to make tall claims about love yet, the less hurt we give and get. Of course, we don't talk about love anymore. We just use the more "mature" word- like. And then we prove our immaturity yet again when we get so worked up about people we just like.
- I Don't Even Have A Word For This One- Now you'll realise how complicated commitment is. There is a factor that destroys so many relationships, but I don't even know how to put it in words. That reason is our tendency to try and be something that we are not. We try to be a husband or a wife to a person we just met when we get into a relationship. Agree with me or not, this is the truth. We don't care about the responsibilities or the duties or the sheer amount of patience that love demands but we get all possessive and protective and caring about the person we "love". See, I am a believer of love, but the version of love I have seen with almost all of the committed people I ran into in my life, is empty. It is a fake, and no matter how good a fake looks, it can't replace the original.
Life can become a hard place at times, and all of us need companionship. Sometimes in very special ways. But getting into a relationship and actually holding on to it are two different things. I discussed the problem today. In my next post, I'll mention the solutions. In the meantime, stop and think a moment. If you're a committed person, you'll see that your answers are hidden in the very questions this post puts up. If you're single and available, you'll understand why every committed person calls you lucky. That's life buddies. The grass is always greener on the other side.